Published on 12, July, 2020
Something happened that was out of my control. I didn't know what was going to happen next, what had been said, if it could happen again, if I was being told the truth. I totally lost control, pacing, this makes be calmer, my head was going to explode with all the thoughts. I was crying, angry and I just couldn't explain what the problem was at the time because I was out of control. I only know now because I was helped to calm down by someone and now I'm feeling in control I can discuss what the problem was. I'm not diagnosed yet was this a meltdown? What was it?
classic. yes
Thank you for all your replies. Now I have some understanding of what happened I can try and help myself. I have started a list of things that happen to me, when they happen, how I feel etc to take with me to the assessment
I now have Harry Enfield as a Scouser, in my head.
Panic is my default setting. Exacerbated by the old negative critical voices in my head. But, all I needed in the end was sleep.
HALT - Don't get hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
Aw I am sorry to hear this! It sounds like you maybe got a bit overwhelmed. I know this experience all too well and this is the reason many people with level 1 ASD turn to alcohol and benzodiazepines. You should take it easy if you can. Go for a bath if you have one. Meditate even if it suits you. Listen to some relaxing music maybe. Chat with someone. Maybe a diagnosis would help you. It may help to know why you are experiencing certain things. Just remember to stay away from all alcohol and drugs these things will not help you in the long run and will only make matters worse! Hope my advice helps.
It's great that you were able to calm down eventually with the help of someone else. There're helpful videos on youtube and books to learn different coping strategies on how to deal with meltdowns and shutdowns as I'm sure you'll know. It's frightening when it happens and exhausting afterwards but you got through it which shows you can cope. You are strong. No one is perfect and we all need support at times. I'm glad you got the support you needed.
Dream said:I'm not diagnosed yet was this a meltdown?
It certainly seems so - and it's great that someone was there to kindly help you through it.
You might find these resources helpful (perhaps you could also share them with that person, if they're likely to be around if it happens again):
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences
https://reframingautism.org.au/all-about-autistic-meltdowns-a-guide-for-allies/
sounds very like a meltdown to me