Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello!
I am a woman in my 30s and Ive decided that getting a diagnosis would give me validation of my struggles throughout my life. However I’m worried I won’t be “believed”.
I have asked a couple of friends previously whether they have ever thought I could be autistic but they’ve almost laughed and said no. This has put me off confiding in anybody else.
This isn’t something I’ve thought lightly about, I have spent hours relentlessly researching into the late diagnosis of autism in women. As well as a lot resonating with me I have taken online tests etc.
AQ 50 - 36
Cat Q - 158
I’ve come to realise I mask a LOT therefore I’m scared that the assessor will think I’m not autistic, as my traits may not be obvious. I don’t even know what the first step is to take. I don’t want to speak to my GP as I’m worried I won’t be believed, I don’t know whether I’m in a financial position for a private diagnosis, I don’t even know how much these cost.
Hi Rainbow.
Your friends reaction is common - one of my best friends was surprised by my diagnosis. Even though their laughter hurt you, it wasn't meant to hurt you - they probably thought that they were helping you.
You talk about being "believed". In my experience the assessors are not looking for you to convince them, as if it was some kind of court trial. They will really take on board your experiences. One of the first tests I did for them was actually about camouflaging (masking) which I scored highly on (I can easily pass as neurotypical for a few hours - but then need hose myself down and have a rest). So these days they are aware of masking and can take it into account.
I didn't even involve my family in the assessment, as I knew they'd be biased - my wife took on that part - maybe your partner could too.
The assessment process is usually in 4 stages and you pay for each stage separately. The first part is the cheapest (around £200) which is basically a load of tests along the lines of ones that you have already taken - the outcome of this says whether it you should be considered for full assessment. I don't know how feasible this is, but theoretically you could do that part privately and then take that result to the GP. Then you are not convincing a GP who's knowledge of autism is from the 1930s.
I can tell you who did mine with a description of the steps, if you like AND if this is allowed on the forums... (I'll check back tomorrow...)
Good luck!
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