Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I was diagnosed with ASD earlier in the year. Even though it is something I have thought and believed my whole life, I feel like the diagnosis has turned me upside down and I feel like I don't understand myself anymore. It felt like the assessor saw things in me that I don't see myself, but in the report she wrote, nothing of the sort was described. I received a post-diagnosis email but there wasn't much on there either. I just want someone to talk to who knows Autism well and I can organise my thoughts and learn more about myself. I have tried reading things online but it just doesn't seem to be helping. I want somebody to talk to about it all that knows what they are talking about. I just don't know where to turn.. I feel so isolated and alienated from myself, did anybody else have this experience? I'm from the East Midlands, can anybody signpost me to something that may help? I tried a peer mentoring-type service, but once I signed up I heard nothing more from them, I have sent follow up emails with no response also.. I have joined local groups on Facebook but it all seems to be child-centred and parents looking for school placements.
Any feedback would be greatly received, I don't want to keep feeling this way.
Hello All,
This is the first time i've been on the forum & i have to say this feed is really interesting & relevant to me. Just like Bumblebee & some others i have a had a late diagnosis in January this year ( 53 yo).I too thought that once i had a diagnosis then it would be followed by lots of support & help & it just wasn't. I have found this quite disappointing & distressing. My wife suggested i might be Autistic, i have always had meltdowns & i wanted a way of dealing with these as it's distressing for everyone in the house & i didn't want to put my family through this anymore.I went through quite a grieving period post diagnosis but i am starting to come out of it now. I had never heard of masking but i now realise i've done that all of my life. My wife & I have found a couples counsellor who is an Autism specialist & this is helping quite a lot.
My back story is that i don't want to be Autistic & i have found the process quite distressing. I have always been different, thought different, dressed different, been interested in unusual things. This has been my superpower in life. I found school very difficult & didn't conform or fit in. To be told i was Autistic took me by complete surprise & i questioned everything i thought i knew about myself. I lost all of my confidence & withdrew completely from the world. I am now starting to come out of that & i'm starting to feel ready to take on the world again. I don't really tell anyone i'm Autistic (apart from close family & the odd friend) as i don't want to be defined by it. I was happy being individual me & i want to get back to being that person. Being different is brilliant & i am drawn to people who think different. All i can add is just enjoy being unique you.
I have the same story as you, diagnosed at 40. I receeded and didn't like the label so I've mostly kept it to myself. I've found that instead of telling people 'im autistic so I need...', instead I just not that 'i have sensory differences so I need...' for example.
For me the label and stigma are disabling, not my brain. Thwi has helped me a lot.
Good luck. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to directly
This feels very similar to me. I don't want to see Autism ( for myself) as a disability, just a point of difference. I see different as positive & interesting. This is keeping me positive as i go through my day to day life. I've found things post diagnosis that are improving my life so thats good. Noise cancelling headphones are a game changer for me. This is another positive. This way of thinking is helping me to go forward in life.
Thanks JT