Published on 12, July, 2020
I spent a lot of my life struggling with my sexuality and thought coming out as gay would give me the answers I needed as to why I always felt different. But 5 years on after coming out as gay and being in a happy relationship, I still feel I find daily life hard. Over the past few months I have discovered I may be autistic and feel a diagnosis would literally validate my life, however when I’ve asked close people to me whether they think I could be autistic they have said no not at all, so I’m very confused. I’ve listed below just a small number of significant things I’ve realised could make me autistic.
Childhood traits which felt “normal” and fine to me at the time:
Teenage traits:
Adult traits:
However, I also have a lot of non-typical autistic traits which very much confuse me. Examples of these are I love socialising and I am not very direct in communicating whatsoever, Infact the complete opposite and struggle to be honest and direct.
Thank you for anybody who has read this entire post. I don’t feel I can talk about this with anybody so writing down has helped.
All three, I reckon It is a crap time when you feel you have to justify why you feel autistic. Before I was actually diagnosed, my therapist at the time actually said something very helpful despite not diagnosing me herself (after many sessions I put the idea to her, and she said "I don't think there are many people who feel they are autistic who are not.". We all have different traits - I did the staring thing well into my teens and still have to force myself not to do it and I'm in my 50s now I've always been super nostalgic - even in my 20s. It is nice to hear this because I have not heard this before. I've just picked these two, but a lot of the others resonate too. I've loads of non-autistic traits too. This is a cliche almost, but it really is a spectrum. We all have different traits and strengths of those traits. I hope that you are able to get tested. Finally - don't go by what others say. A good friend literally said that my diagnosis was a total surprise.
Wow, the words of your therapist! Really helpful!