Published on 12, July, 2020
I spent a lot of my life struggling with my sexuality and thought coming out as gay would give me the answers I needed as to why I always felt different. But 5 years on after coming out as gay and being in a happy relationship, I still feel I find daily life hard. Over the past few months I have discovered I may be autistic and feel a diagnosis would literally validate my life, however when I’ve asked close people to me whether they think I could be autistic they have said no not at all, so I’m very confused. I’ve listed below just a small number of significant things I’ve realised could make me autistic.
Childhood traits which felt “normal” and fine to me at the time:
Teenage traits:
Adult traits:
However, I also have a lot of non-typical autistic traits which very much confuse me. Examples of these are I love socialising and I am not very direct in communicating whatsoever, Infact the complete opposite and struggle to be honest and direct.
Thank you for anybody who has read this entire post. I don’t feel I can talk about this with anybody so writing down has helped.
bro it should be easy to know if your gay or not.just imagine a big burly ugly bloke getting it on with you... if thats cringe or horrid then your not gay.... also if women dont do it for you either, then yeah your asexual.alot of autistic people are infact asexual... not gay, not trans... just lacking of any desire for sexual relations with any other person. like a magnet, but you have no attraction side and repel everything. it will probably be awkward and cringe and wrong feeling of you to try it on with anyone then youd know. you might not want anyone that close, you might just wanna be by yourself. but yet still get sexual urges for no reason as thats biology. but yet if you relieve that your mind goes back to normal and you know you dont really want anyone that close anyway.
I'm not totally convinced. If I imagine a small skinny ugly woman getting it on with me, I'm not getting the flutters either but I'm totally straight. Maybe expand those parameters in the imagined partners a bit...
yeah thats true but that is something you only find later. looks is the initial first thing and no one gives you a chance past first appearances.
I think there's so much more than looks that makes someone attractive, it's who they are and how they are. I think that as we get older what on the inside starts to show on the face more, it's hard to define the difference between crows feet and laughter lines, but I think there is one, laughter lines tend to point upwards. Some people develop lines around thier lips reminiscent of a cats bum, I think this is from pursed lipped disapproval, rather than wry wondering. Of course the biggest tell is the light in the eyes, does a persons eyes smile along with the rest of the face?
the average person is generally not attractive like what youd ideally want anyway.