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"If you don't like me, I don't like me"

HMO
3 months ago

A direct quote from Robbie Williams within an interview he did a year or so ago.

I'd be surprised if this is an uncommon experience on here. The extent of my people-pleasing is that the thought of hurting someone, even unintentionally, is horrendous. When it actually happens, it's even worse.

It's the thing of "are they going to be so angry with me that they'll try to hurt me?", and when that has been proven to be true, it's hard to not believe that. When you have also turned the entire world against you like I have, you're pretty much stuck with that feeling. The "you need to move on" advice becomes even more unhelpful.

Parents
  • 3 months ago
    HMO said:
    It's the thing of "are they going to be so angry with me that they'll try to hurt me?", and when that has been proven to be true, it's hard to not believe that.

    This is a classic trauma response.

    It is not far from the situation where after having a car crash you are scared to drive again in case it happens again.

    It echoes quite a lot of posts you have made here in the past so can I ask - did you ever get therapy for it? This is the best way to deal with it and learn to forgive yourself and move on.

Reply
  • 3 months ago
    HMO said:
    It's the thing of "are they going to be so angry with me that they'll try to hurt me?", and when that has been proven to be true, it's hard to not believe that.

    This is a classic trauma response.

    It is not far from the situation where after having a car crash you are scared to drive again in case it happens again.

    It echoes quite a lot of posts you have made here in the past so can I ask - did you ever get therapy for it? This is the best way to deal with it and learn to forgive yourself and move on.

Children
  • 3 months ago in reply to Iain

    Like with a lot of things, it's perhaps one of those things I've not delved into as much as I could have. We've addressed my nature to people-please but not the specifics.