Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'm a male, 44, father of two daughters, and married. I pursued diagnosis shortly after I turned 40, and here we are, four years later, and today I was informed that I hit all the criteria for ASD level 1.
I feel relieved that what I long felt is finally confirmed, although there's still a scintilla of doubt that perhaps I 'gamified' the process by knowing what the specialists needed to hear. Is this normal? To be honest I am still processing the diagnosis, and don't really feel much else yet despite putting so much effort to get to this point over the past few years. But this may be due to my alexithymia, and being unable to register what emotions I am currently feeling.
I look forward to reading my report when it is sent to me in the next week or so. In the meantime I am looking for more information. I have seen the usual stuff on YouTube, which frankly I find of limited use - it seems to be either women, or immature men giving their views - but I have yet to settle on which books to read from the plethora available for newly diagnosed adults. Any suggestions for books, etc. that could be helpful from this community?
You are welcome!
thank you!
Don't hijack my thread.
I am puzzled why you are lurking here? I am after reading recommendations.
Can you tell me why you pursued diagnosis? I am puzzled. I agree with NAS94154 that we probably are all neurodivergent.. I have displayed neurodivergent characteristics since 1946,; long before Autism was 'invented'. I have have a little to regret over successive years, and have only though about contacting other neurodivergent individuals on reaching an age when loneliness may become an issue.
I recommend Untypical by Pete Wharmby - he got a diagnosis in his 30s or 40s.
I know these resources are great! Every one of us deserves access to information like this when we discover our autistic identity.
I hope these resources still prove useful for you now though.
Another great starting point is the Aucademy Starting your autistic discovery journey page:
https://aucademy.co.uk/starting-your-autistic-discovery-journey/
This is fantastic AA. I wish I’d seen something like this at the beginning of my autism journey.
Not a book but here are links to some brilliant guides that will welcome you to your autistic community and help you learn more about your autistic brain:
https://ausometraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Autistic-Adults-Welcome-Pack-Final-.pdf?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR2lK6Xw7shg2E2_pRPwT2ejsFvZyL_njel60j3LywHrOezKtItop5C53q0_aem_AciLIFmozVIp2IoXbPcuvMJ94vIXn9vYTneK-evhrJJrq-T13t9CXWbFty74K3HCpYEmgs60gZRbWb_xGgpJEtPO
https://reframingautism.org.au/service/welcome-pack/
Midlands Monkey said:Not really looking for the history, or even what autism is; more for info for newly diagnosed adults
Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Wylie, Philip_ Beardon, Luke_ Heath, Sara (2014)ISBN 9781849054331
I have read some of his books which were very good
"Self-Care For Autistic People - 100 Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!" by Dr. Meghan Anna Neff (Neurodivergent Psychologist)
I'd start with a search in your local library. The books are free to borrow, and you can buy any that help second-hand online once you know what you want to read in more detail. Just because you reserve and borrow a book doesn't mean you have to read it all, you can just browse it.
The first one I read, "The reason I jump" (N. Higashida) was about a boy's experience, interesting, and I was able to read what he said and say yes/no about my experience, even though I'm female.
"The autistic experience" (J James and M.L. Del Vecchio) was very useful, each chapter was thought-provoking and embedded in autistic experiences.
"Divergent mind" (J Nerenberg) was good if you like to understand the big words and what they mean, lots of explanations.
"The autists: women on the spectrum" (C Törnvall) is another interesting one, looks at autism across the ages as she reflects on her journey to diagnosis, including reflections of her marriage.
I have another few I read but didn't find so helpful, and another pile on the coffee table to get through when I get a chance.
Read it! Not really looking for the history, or even what autism is; more for info for newly diagnosed adults.
"Neurotribes"
Thanks, I had the second book on my list, so have purchased.
Midlands Monkey said: my eldest definitely has ADHD
In that case, these may be better:
Everything You Wanted to Know About ADHD (...But Forgot You Wanted to Ask) - Neuroscience Education Institute (2008)ISBN 1422500330
Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women - Joanne Steer (2021)eISBN 9781787754010
Managing ADHD Workbook for Women, Exercises and Strategies to Improve Focus, Motivation, and Confidence - Duan MD, Christy (2022)eISBN: 9781638782452
Thanks - my eldest definitely has ADHD, with some autistic traits.
A goodm no nonsense guide:
Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)ISBN 0764525476
If you are neurodiverse then there is a good chance your daughters have inherited it too, so this may help them (and you deal with them):
Aspergirls - empowering females with Asperger Syndrome - Rudy Simone (2012)ISBN 9781849058261
Six-Word Lessons on Female Asperger Syndrome - 100 Lessons to Understand and Support Girls and Women with Asperger's - Tracey Cohen (2015)(no ISBN)
The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide, How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic - Siena Castellon (2020)ISBN 9781787751835