Nvm

Thank you for the insight and advice. I'll talk to my care giver about the stimergency bag, great plan to have. My main issue is social situation rumination and I tend to make the events seem worse in my head. You're right that I should explain more properly, maybe an apology letter would be a kind way to also express how I was feeling. My husband had a talk with those friends already but we both decided I shouldn't be around them for a while since it'll renew the anxiety for me. Appreciate your time in writing to me, these tips could helps others too!

I've screwed up in social interactions more times than I can count. How I deal with it varies. More often than not, I will hide and basically become mute. 

In fact, that's been the long term impact. I basically don't talk at all unless I've been invited to speak. I don't speak for the sake of speaking.

It's not ideal but it's the safest thing for me.

PlushRat said:

How do you handle your meltdowns?

I'm lucky in that I can control my mind in the run up to this and get almost military in discipline to avoid it - not something I can explain easily to others.

However, in your situation here I would write to the people who were in the car with you and apologise, explain that you are autistic and the issue of the evening led you to have a meltdown which is very uncharacteristic of you.

Ask for their forgiveness and understanding and say you are working on ways to communicate better when approaching this rare state.

This is about all you can do - but as soon as your energy levels allow get back out and mixing as normally as you can. There will be some embarrasment but getting them to understand you as well as spreading understanding of autism is a real positive.

On a personal development side - get better at preparing. Get a battery pack to charge your phone and keep it with you. Same for stim toys - keep a spare in your handbag along with the battery/cable. Charge it every Thursday to make sure it is up for a weekends worth of power and you may even save a friend who has a flat phone battery.

Also make sure at least someone in your group knows about autism enough to handle your meltdown and manage the others - if at all possible. Maybe carry a card with a high level overview on you, especially with notes on how to interact with you and an emergency contact to come get you.

PlushRat said:

I feel like a monster or a beast sometimes with this mental plague

You are not. I know a few people who I would say are really monsters and your meltdown is not in this league. It is something a LOT of people get from time to time and the sooner we can de-demonise it the better.

Explain it to your friends, maybe even make a light hearted joke about it and it should be less scary for them to witness if it happens again. Then again you will be prepared next time so that won't happen.

I see, so you just let it out and feel it, then deal with the after math? I find this reply interesting. 

I don't handle them, I freak out and get out, I don't care if I have to walk, but then thats one reason I rarely go out.