Struggling with my late diagnosis

I finally got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at the age of 38. I met all of the criteria very easily. He was almost going to diagnose me with level 2 because of how severe my social difficulties are, but in the end said level 1 makes more sense since I am able to be independent now.

I don't have anyone to talk to because I don't have any friends and haven't told my family. I honestly don't know how to feel about it (and I generally struggle to know what I'm feeling anyway). But I'm pretty sure I feel bad.

I keep thinking how I wish I was diagnosed earlier so that I could have had support in education and work, and if I had known about it, maybe I could have learnt to be social and had therapy or training etc, instead of trying to work it all out for myself and failing.

Then sometimes I feel like a fraud and wonder if I somehow tricked the doctor into diagnosing me. But everything that was said was true. I think I just feel like that because it seemed so easy to be diagnosed, I was expecting more push back because of self-doubts.

The doctor who diagnosed me told me I should try to go to meet ups for autistic people because there are lots of people out there like me who I would get on with, and who might have the same special interests. But I'm afraid, and I think they would all be younger than me. I wish I didn't waste my life being alone, it feels like it's too late.

Did anyone else feel any of these things after being diagnosed as an adult?

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