Adjustments at work meeting wish me luck!

Mr T said:

Why is life so difficult? With knowledge and understanding this world should be better.

The underlying issue is people don't understand neurodiversity and are reluctant to take the time to do so. It also doesn't help that it is presents in such a huge range of ways that it is hard to define it easily.

It will take time (decades probably) and we need to get better at getting understanding out there about it.

Mr T said:

Perhaps I believe literally what is written down.

If it were this clear cut then life would indeed be easier, but there is a lot of interpretation used when applying these acts. Courts or trubunals will take a balanced approach normally - it has to be fair on both the claimant and the defendant.

If your need was for a single office with 360 degree windows and absolutely no noise then that is not a reasonable thing for your supplier to offer. Pair it back to lesser things (eg an office shared with 1 other) and the company has already made concessions but you are resistant as these are not far enough for what you want.

I expect you will need to accept their offer and then find ways to advocate for further change later on. Pushing for all your demands will show you are not negotiating while they are, so the judgement will most likely be "take it or leave".

Mr T said:

What I ask for is is mitigation of the disadvantages that I face and have faced all my life just so that I can perform to the best of my ability.

Are you convinced that the changes you ask for will allow you to perform at a higher level than you were initially? Perhaps with a reasonable office mate you will be able to get close to this which may be good enough.

It would be nice it life wasn't so difficult but it is and all we can do is deal with it the best we can. Treat it like a project, take as much emotion out of it as you can and learn ways to make yourself better able to tolerate the stresses that the environment will place on you.

Then at the end of the day go home and have a life - leave work to its 8 hours a day and live the rest for you.

Thanks for your input and I respect your opinion. After all you are just stating the way of the world. However, should we not stand up for ourselves and call out discrimination where we find it?

I have researched the equality act and did lots of reading on autism and equality websites. Perhaps I believe literally what is written down. I work for a large employer who claims to be a disability confident employer. The fact that there are single offices in my department currently occupied by the same grade as me. What I ask for is is mitigation of the disadvantages that I face and have faced all my life just so that I can perform to the best of my ability.

Why is life so difficult? With knowledge and understanding this world should be better.

Mr T said:

I did expect more protection since my disclosure but just kept getting excuses about how difficult it would be to do the things that I need as adjustments

This is unfortunately all to common - sorry you are going through this.

I've been on both sides of the fence here and know some of the issues your manager faces so I don't think they are doing this just because they are an a-hole but because it is politically difficult to give you what you ask for.

To explain better - you asked for an individual office. This is typically a premium location and one that workers hope to achieve as a sign of their success or importance. Giving it to the bloke who has been a wreck for ages would be seen as "pandering" to many of the employees who may have aspired to it for themselves.

Then there is the issue of your value to the company. You are currently underperforming significantly due to absence and stress and the chances of you returning to normal productivity are modest since they know you are triggered by things that other employees take in their stride.

The management will now consider whether you are worth it. Why would they give you a lucrative office and special treatment when they can use this as lure to make other employees excel in order to earn it. You have to consider that you may now be a tarnished product for them even after providing a long and useful contribution.

My advice would be to look at a role where you can be happy and productive - possily in another company. Climbing that ladder is often just not worth it due to the pressures it brings.

If this feels right then speak to your manager and point out that you appreciate you may not give the best value in this role and you would like their support in returning to a role where you can be productive again - get their support in the relocation and you may be able to retain some of your current benefits.

Going on the offinsive with a tribunal is unlikely to work I suspect as the company have already moved part way to a solution and you haven't met in the middle.

Sorry if it isn't what you wanted to hear but I hope it offers some insight into the mechanisms I think are at play here.

Good luck in finding a decent outcome.

Now I am aware of my autism and some of my traits I am in a better position to know what will work for me. Sharing an office would be really difficult for me to cope with now. My role has changed over those 30 yrs as I have gained promotion  and what I did before lead me to a couple of burnouts in the last couple of years. I find the he said / she said petty nature of my environment pretty toxic to me and have felt like walking on eggshells for fear of looking the wrong way or saying something. I did expect more protection since my disclosure but just kept getting excuses about how difficult it would be to do the things that I need as adjustments. In all this time my manager never arranged awareness training for the staff even though ATW will fund it. It was stated that it might be something they would look at in the future. I have thought for a long time that they want rid and now they might have just got their wish.

you lasted 30 years in the role though?
what changed? why is it now undoable but it was doable for the previous 30 years?

Yes I am staying with the same employer (for now) but moving to a new role. I struggle with not knowing what is expected of me and performance anxiety. I am finding that this NT world is really quite cruel and the protection that are supposed to be in place for us are so easily ridden roughshod over.

It's good that you are standing up for yourself. I hope it will go well for you. Are you staying with the same company but in a different role or moving on altogether? I struggle with any change.

Just to update on my meeting. What can I say but my manager blatantly refused to move me to a single office but offered me a return to sharing with one other person. When I asked about the provision of a safe space again this was denied. How can I be expected to regulate my environment when I have to have consideration of another person's needs and wants. I told them this was a fundamental and a red line. I was told by my union that I do not have a future in my role. So after 30 years in a niche field I will be redeployed.

I am relieved that I wont be going back to that toxic (for me) environment but sad that my last few years of employment will be doing something else. Now the anxiety starts all over again as to what role and more importantly what conditions I will be offered. My union did tell them this needs sorting in a matter of weeks as a tribunal could well be in the offing if things are not satisfactory. 

Hope everything goes ok, good luck!

I always find work is my biggest challenge in life and when my autistic battery is low I find it a thousand times worse.

like you say it's more the injustice and politics that I find extremely toxic, if it were just the actual work and none of the other rubbish it'd be ok!