Assessment with or without parental involvement.

Hi, Well after two and a half years my name has come to the top of the list for an NHS autism assessment at an adult assessment unit. I am 56 years old.

After wanting this for so long it is now causing me quite a lot of anxiety and imposter syndrome.

An email arrived yesterday asking for an adult informant who has known me since a child. The only person is my mother who is 77 years old, our relationship has been quite turbulent over the years, some of my childhood was spent living with relatives when my mother was ‘sectioned’ on quite a few occasions. Obviously that’s not her fault in any way.

My mothers understanding of autism is quite limited, I’ve tried to explain how every autistic person is different. I get comments off, “ you can hold a conversation, I’ve seen you.” I’ve spoken with my wife and she feels and I do that she will tell the assessor that I was quite normal and nothing to see here. School reports just say that I was quiet. 
I just don’t know which way to go, the email does say that the assessment can be carried out without an informant, I suppose I’m feeling guilt in case she does have something to say but then again I don’t want my assessment scuppered, I didn’t have delayed speech or walking. It wasn’t until I started school that I knew I was different. Any advice would be appreciated.

Parents
  • I'm 51 and had my assessment 3 months ago. They spoke to a friend I had for 20 years to go through their questionnaire. It was to get an idea of how I interact with someone I am comfortable with, as the other assessment and interviews were with strangers, letting them only see one side of you. I think they asked about my habits and preferences. They didn't seem surprised at this. It is your choice: ask what they are looking for then pick the best person for the job.

    I'm sure mum is autistic and wouldn't be any help, so my friend did the 1/2 hour phone interview.

  • Thank you, I was going to see if my wife could be used, she has known me since I was 18 and has witnessed most of my struggles. I’ve lived with her longer than I lived with my parents. She is a District Nurse and sometimes has autistic patients, she’s more accepting of autism. I find the world only sees children as being able to be autistic. I sometimes wonder what they think happens to them.

Reply
  • Thank you, I was going to see if my wife could be used, she has known me since I was 18 and has witnessed most of my struggles. I’ve lived with her longer than I lived with my parents. She is a District Nurse and sometimes has autistic patients, she’s more accepting of autism. I find the world only sees children as being able to be autistic. I sometimes wonder what they think happens to them.

Children
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