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Do neurotypical people have to ‘learn’ social norms and how to talk/act?

Streetflyer

I always had to watch other people, mimic others phraseology and speech and either figure out or straight up be taught what is social normality and why this is the case. later in life I’d use phrases and words to fit in

example being: my friends would say “alright mate” or “hey man” 

saying “mate” or “man” always felt weird to me and I had to adapt to this to feel like I fit in (mask-I guess) I felt like I was trying to be someone I’m not saying this at one stage. Now it’s a thing I say depending on the kind of company I’m with.

not something I’d ever instinctively do around other autistic people by the way. Calling my (autistic) girlfriend “babe” would be extremely weird for us both. 

I don’t know if anyone here would know anymore about this than me! If not then just food for thought really 

I’m just wondering if this is an exclusively autistic thing! 

Parents

  • yeah saying most things feels weird to me so i dont do it, which makes me seen ignorant. especially if i walk away without saying bye or something along the lines of a discussion closer and a see you later thing... i just sometimes walk off as i dunno saying bye seems wrong sometimes, or seems like its pointless as your still around the vicinity..

  • in reply to Caelus

    That is me. Everyday at work! I leave without saying anything but I feel self conscious because I feel like I’m expected to give a ‘speech’

    even when a colleague gets married or is moving abroad or something… most I can muster is a rehearsed handshake or a scripted ‘congratulations’ 

    I’m always scared that that comes across as me having no empathy and not caring, where in reality I’m extremely happy for them, it’s just me not knowing how to express things. 

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  • in reply to Caelus

    That is me. Everyday at work! I leave without saying anything but I feel self conscious because I feel like I’m expected to give a ‘speech’

    even when a colleague gets married or is moving abroad or something… most I can muster is a rehearsed handshake or a scripted ‘congratulations’ 

    I’m always scared that that comes across as me having no empathy and not caring, where in reality I’m extremely happy for them, it’s just me not knowing how to express things. 

Children