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Do neurotypical people have to ‘learn’ social norms and how to talk/act?

Streetflyer

I always had to watch other people, mimic others phraseology and speech and either figure out or straight up be taught what is social normality and why this is the case. later in life I’d use phrases and words to fit in

example being: my friends would say “alright mate” or “hey man” 

saying “mate” or “man” always felt weird to me and I had to adapt to this to feel like I fit in (mask-I guess) I felt like I was trying to be someone I’m not saying this at one stage. Now it’s a thing I say depending on the kind of company I’m with.

not something I’d ever instinctively do around other autistic people by the way. Calling my (autistic) girlfriend “babe” would be extremely weird for us both. 

I don’t know if anyone here would know anymore about this than me! If not then just food for thought really 

I’m just wondering if this is an exclusively autistic thing! 

Parents

  • It’s an interesting question. I think we as humans tend to do more eagerly things which we like and find easy. So it may be, that at least part of neurotypical people find it easy. They probably find it easy to learn the social norms, because their brains are wired similarly so the way of thinking is also more similar between them, although everyone is different and of course not all of them like each other. From my own experience I remember my interactions with peers very difficult, confusing and pointless. I felt like I was missing a lot, like others have they’re defined by default personalities and way of behaving and communication, like they have some sort of special, secret code which I was not given. It was frustrating. So that’s why I as least find social interactions difficult. When I was younger I wanted to have friends and be like others. I mastered ways of masking and one day I got so tired exhausted of pretending that I’m someone who I’m not, that I withdrew from social life. Now I’m kinda trying to get back on track but not gonna mask as much as I did before. 

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  • It’s an interesting question. I think we as humans tend to do more eagerly things which we like and find easy. So it may be, that at least part of neurotypical people find it easy. They probably find it easy to learn the social norms, because their brains are wired similarly so the way of thinking is also more similar between them, although everyone is different and of course not all of them like each other. From my own experience I remember my interactions with peers very difficult, confusing and pointless. I felt like I was missing a lot, like others have they’re defined by default personalities and way of behaving and communication, like they have some sort of special, secret code which I was not given. It was frustrating. So that’s why I as least find social interactions difficult. When I was younger I wanted to have friends and be like others. I mastered ways of masking and one day I got so tired exhausted of pretending that I’m someone who I’m not, that I withdrew from social life. Now I’m kinda trying to get back on track but not gonna mask as much as I did before. 

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