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Do neurotypical people have to ‘learn’ social norms and how to talk/act?

Streetflyer

I always had to watch other people, mimic others phraseology and speech and either figure out or straight up be taught what is social normality and why this is the case. later in life I’d use phrases and words to fit in

example being: my friends would say “alright mate” or “hey man” 

saying “mate” or “man” always felt weird to me and I had to adapt to this to feel like I fit in (mask-I guess) I felt like I was trying to be someone I’m not saying this at one stage. Now it’s a thing I say depending on the kind of company I’m with.

not something I’d ever instinctively do around other autistic people by the way. Calling my (autistic) girlfriend “babe” would be extremely weird for us both. 

I don’t know if anyone here would know anymore about this than me! If not then just food for thought really 

I’m just wondering if this is an exclusively autistic thing! 

Parents
  • Streetflyer said:
    I’m just wondering if this is an exclusively autistic thing! 

    I understand it to be down to the fact that neurodiverse tend to avoid social interaction whereas neurotypicals prefer it, and therefore get a lot more exposure, practice and aptitude for the social interactions.

    Neurodiverse tend to avoid things if they are difficult or don't make sense to us so it leads us to insulate against learning them in spite of often wishing we could be a part of it. This is compounded by the impact it has on us - ie it causes us stress through the environment, type of interaction or the push back from our peers because we lack aptitude for it.

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  • Streetflyer said:
    I’m just wondering if this is an exclusively autistic thing! 

    I understand it to be down to the fact that neurodiverse tend to avoid social interaction whereas neurotypicals prefer it, and therefore get a lot more exposure, practice and aptitude for the social interactions.

    Neurodiverse tend to avoid things if they are difficult or don't make sense to us so it leads us to insulate against learning them in spite of often wishing we could be a part of it. This is compounded by the impact it has on us - ie it causes us stress through the environment, type of interaction or the push back from our peers because we lack aptitude for it.

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    The spite thing is a definite thing with me. For example I despised clubbing or dancing when I was younger and grew at one point to think of myself as ‘above’ it. (not that I care for it now. I just know now it’s not part of who I am) but at the same time I got depressed wondered ‘why can’t I go to a club and pull girls and talk with my hips or whatever they say’ like normal people. 
    the feeling of being happy knowing who I am and knowing what I can never ever be has actually been very liberating.