Published on 12, July, 2020
This is just an extension of things not making sense to us.
I've known of people telling me that as an adult, friendships are very different and hanging out together and having a fun time isn't something people have the time for. At the same time, I'd see photos of them on Instagram at a theme park or basking in the sunshine or whatever, and fairly regularly.
I get it, adult friendships ARE different to those you had as a child, but I don't get why people tended to discourage me, or made me feel bad for wanting those experiences.
Especially as I didn't get to have much of them as a child so there's a degree of "wanting to make up for it" now, as someone in my mid 20s.
I'm sure someone will tell me that I'm reading into it too much, or I've misinterpreted it.
I'm so used to being the odd one out that when I look at photo's of people I know hanging out with friends or telling stories about hanging out with friends, it feels like someone telling me about an episode in a soap opera. Luckily I don't want to do the things that they do or go to the places they hang out.
In my 20's and 30's I did feel the lack of friends very keenly and would wonder how people kept friendship groups, all my friends moved away over the course of about a year. I supose I'm just used to it now and no longer miss it all, its just one of those things other people do, that I don't.
A lot of the time I can convince myself that I don't care, because I don't have the desire to go to a festival (for example) or whatever people do.
Sometimes though, like today, I wake up and it all comes back. Like I'm completely missing out on life.