"Monotropism" - how do you experience it?

Thank you to user JuniperFromGallifrey who informed me about the idea of monotropism, a concept developed by autistic people themselves to describe the intense focus autistic people have on their particular interests, meaning that other stimuli may be disregarded. For instance, if you're engaged in your special interest you may not notice someone speaking to you, or that you're hungry. And if someone draws you away from your activity of interest, itay be very irritating or make you angry, and it's difficult to re-focus. It's understood as a strength, the ability to concentrate so well. 

I'm thinking of seeking diagnosis (female, age 40, married, two kids) it's very expensive in my country (NZ), and I'm doing a deep dive into autism to really understand it and assess whether I have enough characteristics to make it worth being assessed. 

In the past I would focus deeply and for long periods of time on: reading fiction (from being a small child), academic essays at school/college/uni, painting for hours and hours into the night, playing particular adventure-based video games (Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle...) for 10+ hours. I wouldn't eat when I was focused on something. But, I don't think I experienced those things as having gone down a long tunnel, and I didn't struggle with being brought out of my attention focus.... if someone came in and spoke to me I would stop and speak back, for instance. (Although my answers would be like... "what are you painting?" "A picture" [teen eye roll], what are you reading? "Ugh, a book". What's it about? "A girl".... etc etc so I guess I did find it irritating.... though I found my parents generally irritating lol.)

I guess I'm wondering, do all autistic people experience monotropism in the same way? Do women experience it differently to men? It seems to be a defining characteristic that all autistic people share as a description of themselves... or am I wrong about that? Do all autistic people struggle with refocusing your attention while enjoying your special interests?

It would make me very happy to be diagnosed with autism. My social difficulties have always been extreme. In addition, after reading this forum, I have a lot in common with a lot of people here. I have only ever had a couple of friends at a time, and a lot of the people I have chosen to spend time with have now been diagnosed with autism - I guess like attracts like, I don't perceive any oddness in my autistic friends, I appreciate their directness and the fact they only talk about interesting things. I would love to have an explanation for my difficulties. It would be a relief because I wouldn't be so hard on myself for all of my social, professional and personal failures. Thanks in advance