Published on 12, July, 2020
My husband is wanting to divorce me after 23 years. I am autistic and we have 14 year old son with autism and ADHD.
At first I thought we should go through mediation but now I am thinking Amicable lawyers look good. My problem is I find it really hard to make decisions so would need help in this.
We have a joint mortgage and I am terrified of losing the house but have no money to buy him out. I can't find any official advice on this. Some people have told me that he can't force me to sell whilst our son is living here with me and in full time education others have said because of his needs it is 25.
Would like to hear experiences from others who have been through divorce and which method you used.
Would also like to hear from anyone who knows the actual legal stance on the house.
Thanks in advance
anyway i found this article just now thinking on this as im curious myself now... apparently nothing changes and you both still have to pay the mortgage... that means the property isnt split and he still is on the land registry, it isnt split, you both still have to pay... but thing is he may not pay if hes moving out... the selling of the property requires both your consent so he cant sell it, but he can refuse to pay the mortgage, but it will negatively impact his credit score aswell as yours, and its generally not gonna be good for him (this is not legal advice its curiosity lol) www.charcol.co.uk/.../
eesh that sounds tough as if you have a joint mortgage that is then split jointly.... in the likely case wouldnt this mean the property gets sold, the creditors take their bit then you split the rest?even if you had the money to buy him out then your lumped with the mortgage repayments anyway... and its not really up to him whether he forces you to sell, its the solicitors and judges that determine the rightful split.... and it also has to bear in mind the lender too, they cant just give you it all kick him out and give him nothing, then give you the mortgage that you then cant pay... they need to legally ensure the creditor is actually repaid before anything as the creditor actually has the priority in this case i think because the mortgage gives them the charge on the property. and if the deciders realise you cant pay the mortgage repayments thats another thing that will have to be taken into account and will prompt a forced sale situation, which wont be your ex's fault but the fact the courts need to ensure the creditor gets their money back or ensures the person thats lumped with the house and mortgage has the ability to pay the creditor. if you have a income with ability to pay the creditor it maybe ok... but you do have to realise in this situation there is already legal priority towards the lender before either you or your ex. (not legal advice, just common sense logical guesses, followed by a reply of curiosity and research due to curiosity, plus i was wrong the property isnt split and its still both yours and you still both jointly have to pay the mortgage and any selling requires both parties consent... not legal advice lol)
I have been to CAB. They arranged for a free 1/2 hour phone call with a solicitor who couldn't help me because I wasn't client. I ended up hanging up.
I am so sorry to read about this dreadful situation you find yourself in. I've never been married so unsure of all the legal things but I think one of the best things you could do is to get in touch with Citizens Advice.
Here's the link to their website: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
They are really good and offer advice and support regarding so many different things so I think they will probably be able to help you with this. My sister went through a divorce and I know she used Citizens Advice and found them to be very helpful so I think it's a good place to start.
I really am sorry for you having to go through this. I hope you can find the support and help you need.