Published on 12, July, 2020
At least 2 people recently have asked about this, and I didn't get round to responding, so here goes:
Step 1: Always be open and honest with the person you're trying to make friends with.
Step 2: Give each other a detailed description of your personalities. In theory, you instantly know each other well enough to know whether you like each other then.
Step 3: Ask questions about each other. I've got into trouble before for asking too many questions; I think 3 per e-mail should be about the right number though.
It's worked 2 out of 2 times for me when I've tried this method with people I've been in touch with by private message on here. We got on so well that I made friends with each of them in less than 2 weeks! So it seems to work.
I hope that's helpful for people.
Nice step by step guide. I'll definitely try to remember this! I'm in my early twenties and have never had a single friend, not at school or since. I tried. I spent a lot of time trying but no one ever wanted to get to know me. When I masked I must have done it terribly because I still wasn't 'one' of them.
Half the time it feels like I'm always going to be alone and friendless. But I live in hope one day I'll encounter somebody who wants to be friends with this autistic soul.
I can understand the struggle, it took me until I was 22/23 to form meaningful connections and even then, I made a huge mess of it because I didn't know what I was doing.
I've learnt to focus on what I need, more than what I want although there are overlaps. I both want and need someone with similar interests, similar sense of humour and conversational style etc.
Wise words..
It's easy if you can recognise it. It's certainly easier for me to pick up on it in other people than myself, but it's more being less hyper aware of what they might think of me.
Also, realising what you actually want. I used to think I wanted a huge network of friends, but I realised eventually that I never wanted to have to give an equal amount of energy to 30 people...
Being "likeable" is easy, being lovable involves a lot of getting up and doing stuff when you don't really want to...