Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm awaiting an initial appointment but don't know what to expect. I've heard these referrals often get closed if you get deemed beyond help because of autism and or long term depression (I have both).
I've had enough letters from the MH system recently saying that they can't help (inc that the GP's request for a psychiatrist referral was turned down twice) which really isn't helpful when you're feeling suicidal.
Are the visits to a psychiatrist always summarised to you in writing afterwards? Can you decline for this to happen if you are concerned that it is only going to be triggering? I admit that I am probably beyond help due to a lifetime of negativity (and I am unable to react any differently to any suggestions made to me which I guess can seem confrontational) but I really don't need this confirmed in writing to me.
I think it's standard to receive a copy of the letter they send to your GP (and generally preferable because it lets you know what their plans are going forward) but I'm sure you could specifically ask not to be sent it. When I don't feel okay enough to read those things, I just leave it. I get that it's sometimes not as easy as "then don't read it", but you can try.
If you react negatively and in a way that seems confrontational to their suggestions, I wonder if that is potentially responsible for the declined referrals? If they aren't getting the impression that you really want their help and to get better, you're right that there's not that much they can do (aside from involuntary treatment if you cross a line and are seen as an immediate danger to yourself or others).
I get what you say about wanting help -I'm an only child so whilst I have elderly parents to think about, I am concerned about acting on the thoughts I have been having, so I do genuinely want help to that extent, I just don't have in it me to believe anything is going to help. It just makes you feel even more despairing that MH people, who I thought are meant to be experienced in these things, either just don't grasp that or perhaps given the stretched resources, it is easier to give up on the likes of me. Needless to say, the more distressed I get through talking to the MH services, the worse the negativity kicks in, plus I am genuinely slow to understand things anyway which just adds to the cycle of despair and distress.
Thank you for being so honest about your experiences. I've tried medication twice and I'm willing to try again, just not carry on trying for years without success like so many people seem to end up doing. I'm just very sceptical that medication will make any difference, not least on hearing the experiences of others, and the long term nature of my issues. I don't think I could cope with any form of therapy though because life has taught me to be scared of trying to be positive and I don't think there is any coming back from there which is partly why I guess I just wanted to try discussing my issues with a psychiatrist.
You don't need to be 100% sure that you'll feel okay in 2 years, you just have to make it clear that you're willing to try. If you're at the point where you feel like it's just a never ending pit of despair and you're feeling suicidal, you have very little to lose. If being slow to understand the things that are explained is an issue, make sure you tell them that.
But all the treatments they can try rely on you to meet them halfway. If you're not willing to do your best then not discharging you would be a waste of your time and theirs.
Like personally, I'm not sure I see myself ever fully recovering, but I fight like hell in that direction anyway because there's always a chance and at the very least I'll be able to say that I did what I could if I end up gone in 10 years.