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I Don't Think Neurotypicals Understand What We Autistics Mean By Accommodate to Us Who Are Autistic

enflores3000

I think people who are neurotypical don't honestly get what we Autistics are asking when it comes to us asking to be accommodated to and I feel it has to do with the brainwashing they to over complicate and over think things.

Like I don't think us who are Autistic are asking a lot of people, yeah there are things beyond our control, like the other day I went to a reenactment and they had some loud noises with guns and cannons going off which was a sensory overload for me.

I mean for me to have a function relationship with me is simple:

  1. Don't say things you don't mean. I get there is things that happen, for example, you want to go to the store but your car isn't working so you can't, that's one thing.
  2. Don't be a hypocrite and have double standards and get upset with me for doing the same thing you were doing. Like for example, my friend is upset that I talked to people and showed them a private conversation between us and yet they went and brought their friends into things long before me. Told me not to tell anyone but it's okay for him to, but I'm the problem...
  3. Don't assume things about me and make me like I am neurotypicals. I'm not neurotypical so my way of thinking isn't the way of thinking like other neurotypicals. Like for example, I've been accused of having a "hidden agenda" or like I'm some vindictive person trying to hurt people when that's not the case, I am either very upset because I don't feel heard or I'm telling my side of the story and showing the evidence to back me up so people know I'm not lying.
  4. Have your actions meet your words. Like if people say they understand, show me you understand.
  5. Don't put words in my mouth that I don't say. If I'm not saying it, then I don't mean that.
  6. Compromise with me so we both can get what we want, don't make it where it is one trying to force the other to do just what they want.

How is stuff like this hard for neurotypicals to conform to just so I can function? What about anyone else? What is it that you need accommodated that neurotypicals don't seem to understand?

Parents

  • Ha ha ha! Try reading the neuroscientific literature about the neurological differences between Aspies and Normal's! It is quite interesting, but also quite disturbing. We literally have more synapses and dendrites than they do, this means we think more than they do. They have an agenda because they seriously think that people won't see through their fakeness! I always wondered why I got so irritated by the fakeness, but now I understand why! This is why I can't get a job, because I just can not do the fakeness and lying that they do. It is very problematic! Also they are OBSESSED with eye contact, if you don't do it that is also why they may assume you have an agenda! 

  • in reply to NAS93011
    NAS93011 said:
    This is why I can't get a job, because I just can not do the fakeness and lying that they do. It is very problematic! Also they are OBSESSED with eye contact, if you don't do it that is also why they may assume you have an agenda! 

    Try placing yourself in their shoes - you are behaving differently to probably 98-99% of other candidates with your unwillingness to co-exist with their social rules (ie the fakeness), your irrational (to them) irritation at what they see as perfectly normal and your lack of eye contact (which matches NTs experience of liars and cheats).

    This is why we suffer when interviewing and when we start jobs.

    Are the NTs going to change? Probably not in our lifetimes. So what do we do?

    If you want to exist in their world you need to learn their irrational rules and learn to follow them, deal with your irritability (get a therapist perhaps) and understand our place in all of this.

    Expecting them to accept our weirdness is just not realistic. Trying to make the law protect us is probably never going to happen as our weirdnesses take a myriad forms so the law will never be specific enough.

    Adapt or fall by the wayside is the only real option I think we have.

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  • in reply to NAS93011
    NAS93011 said:
    This is why I can't get a job, because I just can not do the fakeness and lying that they do. It is very problematic! Also they are OBSESSED with eye contact, if you don't do it that is also why they may assume you have an agenda! 

    Try placing yourself in their shoes - you are behaving differently to probably 98-99% of other candidates with your unwillingness to co-exist with their social rules (ie the fakeness), your irrational (to them) irritation at what they see as perfectly normal and your lack of eye contact (which matches NTs experience of liars and cheats).

    This is why we suffer when interviewing and when we start jobs.

    Are the NTs going to change? Probably not in our lifetimes. So what do we do?

    If you want to exist in their world you need to learn their irrational rules and learn to follow them, deal with your irritability (get a therapist perhaps) and understand our place in all of this.

    Expecting them to accept our weirdness is just not realistic. Trying to make the law protect us is probably never going to happen as our weirdnesses take a myriad forms so the law will never be specific enough.

    Adapt or fall by the wayside is the only real option I think we have.

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