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I Don't Think Neurotypicals Understand What We Autistics Mean By Accommodate to Us Who Are Autistic

enflores3000

I think people who are neurotypical don't honestly get what we Autistics are asking when it comes to us asking to be accommodated to and I feel it has to do with the brainwashing they to over complicate and over think things.

Like I don't think us who are Autistic are asking a lot of people, yeah there are things beyond our control, like the other day I went to a reenactment and they had some loud noises with guns and cannons going off which was a sensory overload for me.

I mean for me to have a function relationship with me is simple:

  1. Don't say things you don't mean. I get there is things that happen, for example, you want to go to the store but your car isn't working so you can't, that's one thing.
  2. Don't be a hypocrite and have double standards and get upset with me for doing the same thing you were doing. Like for example, my friend is upset that I talked to people and showed them a private conversation between us and yet they went and brought their friends into things long before me. Told me not to tell anyone but it's okay for him to, but I'm the problem...
  3. Don't assume things about me and make me like I am neurotypicals. I'm not neurotypical so my way of thinking isn't the way of thinking like other neurotypicals. Like for example, I've been accused of having a "hidden agenda" or like I'm some vindictive person trying to hurt people when that's not the case, I am either very upset because I don't feel heard or I'm telling my side of the story and showing the evidence to back me up so people know I'm not lying.
  4. Have your actions meet your words. Like if people say they understand, show me you understand.
  5. Don't put words in my mouth that I don't say. If I'm not saying it, then I don't mean that.
  6. Compromise with me so we both can get what we want, don't make it where it is one trying to force the other to do just what they want.

How is stuff like this hard for neurotypicals to conform to just so I can function? What about anyone else? What is it that you need accommodated that neurotypicals don't seem to understand?

Parents

  • Enflores, I think you and I have fallen victim to some of the same thing, mostly calling out the games NT people play without realising they play them. I've been in situations where I've felt I've been asigned a role in a story I didn't know about and then blamed for not sticking to my part. I've had people try and exclude me from social groups for various reasons. I think for NT's the worst crime you can commit is naming the game, I really don't think they know they're playing a game most of the time, their just following an internal script that we wern't born with. I often feel like I arrivd on this planet without the manual for being a woman in the late 20th, early 21stC. Obviously some NT's do know they're playing games and will manipulate the fears of others to rope them in too, we ND's become a handy scapegoat. Lots of people use scapegoating to try and prop up their social standing their sense of self, a false sense of security and OKness, they gang up and load then scapegoat up with all the "sins" and then cast it out. Oddly enough they pretty soon want it back when they realise all the problems are still there.

    However I don't think all NT's are the same, many are understanding and try to live alongside ND's and build proper friendships and communities. If we're all open and honest I think NT's often come to value having their assumptions challenged.

    I wonder if the NT's that don't want to accomodate us are the ones who don't want to accomadate anyone, those who go on about wokery at the National Trust because they don't use butter in their scones, who don't want to change the language they use about black people, women and LGBTQI people, who don't want to stop driving gas guzzling cars and are climate change deniers? I don't know what you do about those people, maybe laugh at them and patronise them back?

Reply

  • Enflores, I think you and I have fallen victim to some of the same thing, mostly calling out the games NT people play without realising they play them. I've been in situations where I've felt I've been asigned a role in a story I didn't know about and then blamed for not sticking to my part. I've had people try and exclude me from social groups for various reasons. I think for NT's the worst crime you can commit is naming the game, I really don't think they know they're playing a game most of the time, their just following an internal script that we wern't born with. I often feel like I arrivd on this planet without the manual for being a woman in the late 20th, early 21stC. Obviously some NT's do know they're playing games and will manipulate the fears of others to rope them in too, we ND's become a handy scapegoat. Lots of people use scapegoating to try and prop up their social standing their sense of self, a false sense of security and OKness, they gang up and load then scapegoat up with all the "sins" and then cast it out. Oddly enough they pretty soon want it back when they realise all the problems are still there.

    However I don't think all NT's are the same, many are understanding and try to live alongside ND's and build proper friendships and communities. If we're all open and honest I think NT's often come to value having their assumptions challenged.

    I wonder if the NT's that don't want to accomodate us are the ones who don't want to accomadate anyone, those who go on about wokery at the National Trust because they don't use butter in their scones, who don't want to change the language they use about black people, women and LGBTQI people, who don't want to stop driving gas guzzling cars and are climate change deniers? I don't know what you do about those people, maybe laugh at them and patronise them back?

Children
  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I don't believe all NTs are the same and some understand to an extent but it's not just people who are racist or misogynistic or anti-LGBTQ+ who do this, NT BIPOC, women, and LGBTQ+ do this as well and it's like for minority groups who want accommodated to and accepted they (again not all) can't do that for Autistic people? How is what they (again not all) doing not just as discriminatory as the rest?