Published on 12, July, 2020
Hiya,
I have been with my partner for 5 years we are in a lesbian relationship. After increasing struggling for years I suggested she gets assessed for autism. She is now waiting but the mental health social worker thinks she is on the spectrum.
My Partner hasn't worked for a year because of strikes happening in the industry she works in. so has increasingly got depressed. We now can't go one day without her having a breakdown over what's she's wearing for the day, clothes in general, not having a strong enough plan, the plan being too strong, not knowing what she's going to eat, having the option of whatever she wants to eat but not knowing what that is, what the time is, it being to late, to early. she tells me everyday she wishes she was dead and I just don't have anything left anymore. I'm trying my hardest to be patient and supportive but now I just stand in another room and cry and try not to have a panic attack.
we are always late for everything if we manage to go at all, I can't go out without her as it's a massive deal if I'm leaving her on her own. she has no friends and no family so it's just me coping on my own, we have approached the doctors and we just have to wait on waiting lists which are months long. or therapy is £55 a session which we can't afford. There isn't any help out there and she is really struggling.
I feel so suicidal ever day and I just feel like we are sinking lower and lower and no one is listening or helping. it's so hard trying to help someone and getting met with so much aggression or just nothing. She's go no fight left in her having to keep speaking to people and services that don't help or can't help.
That's a really difficult situation. You are both struggling a lot by the sounds of it.
I've found coping with stressful situations for me is always a lot easier if I eat clean. Foods high in Vitamin B12 and Omega 3 like beef steak and oily fish are very good for mental health and avoiding seed oils that cause stomach upsets and arthritis that also have an emotional impact (sunflower oil, rapeseed oil and others). Olive oil is a good oil to cook with, it reduces blood pressure and has heart benefits.
Avoiding sugar is helpful too as sugar gives people mood swings, from over-excited to depressed, so for me I find it helpful to give up fruit juice, only eat the occasional fruit sometimes as a treat and avoid chocolate, sweets, ice cream and cakes. Processed foods with E numbers also known as flavourings, colourings, preservatives and nitrates are best avoided too, all of them have negative effects like headaches and shorter attention span.
A simple but healthy diet can be very reassuring in times of stress. For me that would be something like boiled rice or potatoes with a beef steak and a side of lightly boiled vegetables.
I hope that's helpful but also hope I haven't hijacked your thread and gone off topic or on a tangent, I just genuinely know these things have helped me through times I was struggling with relationships with others and my own mental health.
Best wishes to you!
Hiya, I cook everything from scratch- we eat no process foods and if we have anything "naughty" it's dark chocolate or in moderation.
totally agree junk food and loads of sugar doesn't help.
We were going for 5 mile walks everyday as well but now the outfit she wore everyday she now hates.. when I have suggested we look for another outfit she says she doesn't know what she wants she just wants to look nice.. and we can't go for a walk unless she looks nice now..
It sounds like she needs professional help of some kind. Can you get her to see the GP and attend an appointment with her to explain it all?