Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else ever feel this way? I get told by a friend don’t do things just to appease them but then turn around and ask me to do exactly that. Like I made a huge sacrifice for them years ago and recently they asked me to make another sacrifice for them and even though I don’t want to, I’m going along with it cause they don’t know the huge sacrifice I made for them, nor do I want them to know because they’re neurotypical and it will be misunderstood and made more than it is, so yeah, just feel like I’m just meant to be a pathological people pleaser and I just wonder if there’s any other Autistic who feels this way?
Hey there
Sorry to hear about your experience. The term used for people pleasing is Fawning. I posted something similar a while ago and was made aware of it from another person on here. I did some research and watched a lot of videos on the topic as well. I suggest having a look around as it has made me totally aware of when I’m doing it which then encourages me to stop doing it. It’s all about being kinder to yourself as you are putting other people’s needs before your own.
Just because you refuse to do something it doesn’t mean you are being unkind, it can be communicated in a way that you can’t do it right now because it makes you uneasy. Hopefully being a friend they would not want you to feel uneasy.
The more I do it for some the more they tell me I don’t do enough for them (what’s the point).
I also read that Fawning attracts the wrong sort of people as they subconsciously pick up on it as a weakness and exploit it.
Hope you find this helpful and wish you all the best
Be kind to yourself