Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi! I was diagnosed autistic as a 32 year old last year, and during my "journey of realisation" I've noticed that my 72 year old dad exhibits most of the same traits as I do. These include stimming, hyper awareness of noise and texture, niche interests, not being great at following conversation flow etc. He's never had an autism diagnosis. I suspect the reason I wasn't sent for one as a child was he just thought my behavior was "normal"!
Just being aware of it has really helped my relationship with him as things I used to be irritated at I can now explain away as just his undiagnosed autism, but I was wondering if there would be any benefit to bringing my suspicions up with him? Would it help at all or is it just too late?
I'd love to hear from anyone who got a diagnoses at a later stage of life to hear more about their experiences. Also I'd welcome solidarity posts from anyone who's had the same experience.
I'm 62 and I got my autism diagnosis last year after my daughter brought my attention to lots of things that pointed to us both being autistic. We had lots of very gentle conversations and she shared a few YouTube and TicToc videos with me but she never pushed too hard. Learning that your whole life has been spent masking is very hard. Trying to figure out who you are when you're in your 60s is difficult.
She was diagnosed first and I self diagnosed then realised I needed that "bit of paper" as I was struggling with imposter syndrome. I would probably be oblivious to my neurodivergent brain if she hadn't started the conversation with me. Once I started researching and learned more it was such a relief to realise that I'm not a broken, useless person and there's a good reason why I struggle with some things.
I am still trying to come to terms with the diagnosis - I'm mourning what might have been if I'd known much earlier (although I know that in reality in the 1960s and 1970s I would never have been identified) I'm happy to know I'm autistic as my life makes so much more sense now.
My daughter was able to start the conversation with me because she was pursuing her own autism diagnosis and as she talked about various traits I was stunned to learn that most people don't experience life in the same way as she and I do. For me it was a very gentle realisation. I don't know if everyone is as open to learning they're autistic so I would say be very gentle if you do broach the subject with your dad.