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Asking those closest to you for reassurance

HMO
6 months ago

How do you feel about doing this and if others do it to you?

E.g. you've not heard from a close friend in a while. You begin to feel a bit insecure and you just want to check in on them to see how they are, and whether or not they're angry with you. Or if they're happy with being your friend.

I used to do it once in a blue moon, not regularly or anything, but I'd still hate myself every single time. I feel like I'm being difficult and irritating. I would worry that at some point, someone will flip out at me - "I'm just busy, I haven't got the time to chat" in a way that might leave me feeling they hate me for asking.

Even though I know that if someone approached me in the same way, I'd be honest with them and I wouldn't think bad of them. If anything, I'd welcome the fact they care that much. 

That said, I can be quite cynical.

Parents
  • 6 months ago

    One thing I’ve learned is that unless you don’t approach them ,they won’t come to you.Its like working hard to earn them ...unless they are jerks then don’t bother caring about them.I was in similar situations like these a lot of times and they didn’t talk to me unless I spoke to them and you start to pick up a hint that they are a waste of your time.I would say focus on yourself more ,trust me being independent will help you grow rather than mingling with irrational humans….

  • 6 months ago in reply to mihika

    One thing I’ve learned is that unless you don’t approach them ,they won’t come to you.Its like working hard to earn them ...unless they are jerks then don’t bother caring about them.I was in similar situations like these a lot of times and they didn’t talk to me unless I spoke to them and you start to pick up a hint that they are a waste of your time.I would say focus on yourself more ,trust me being independent will help you grow rather than mingling with irrational humans….

    Also if you don’t mind me asking… I’m kinda new here and I wanted to discuss some things but i don’t think I’m able to reach people.Are you people using tags of some sort for reach ? If so ..where can I find them?

Reply
  • 6 months ago in reply to mihika

    One thing I’ve learned is that unless you don’t approach them ,they won’t come to you.Its like working hard to earn them ...unless they are jerks then don’t bother caring about them.I was in similar situations like these a lot of times and they didn’t talk to me unless I spoke to them and you start to pick up a hint that they are a waste of your time.I would say focus on yourself more ,trust me being independent will help you grow rather than mingling with irrational humans….

    Also if you don’t mind me asking… I’m kinda new here and I wanted to discuss some things but i don’t think I’m able to reach people.Are you people using tags of some sort for reach ? If so ..where can I find them?

Children
  • 6 months ago in reply to HMO

    Just humans and their eerie ways of socialising.One minute they’re all chummy with you and next minute they could stab you anytime.Difficult for people like us out there ….Regarding the discussions do you have any career related advice? I’ve posted a discussion but I’m not able to reach people ..hopefully you can help?

  • 6 months ago in reply to mihika

    Not chasing what's not meant for you is something I've struggled with, and learned the hard way. Hopefully you'll find the right people.

    With regards to your second point, it seems to be very hit and miss as to which discussions get traction.