Published on 12, July, 2020
So many times I’ve bumped into someone I haven’t seen for a while or maybe someone even texted me after a while, and they say “we should meet up and do x”.
In 100% of cases they never get back in touch to do x. In 100% of the small proportion of cases where I’ve approached them to take them up on their offer to do x, some excuse is manufactured and x does not happen.
So WHY do people say this?
I think some of it is people are vague and like to leave things open. I've fallen foul far too many times of friends saying "oh that sounds good!" at a suggestion and I take that to mean "it's definitely hsppening". It happened a lot when I was younger and realised it's when people are considering if better offers might come in! I'm fortunate the people around me now, I can either a) understand and accept the vagueness - or b) they're like me or c) they're "control freaks" themselves
Also, thinking about someone I know who might ask me who I'd rather not see. I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Do the people here want an honest answer? You might not want to hear it!
Not suggesting to meet up would not in any way upset me. There is simply no need or point in suggesting it. In fact a conversation that was going very nicely becomes awkward as soon as they do it.
It's almost always the end of the conversation.
Perhaps it means - "I don't really want to talk to you any more, I can't think of anything else to say, so I'll say our conversation will continue another time.
Then I can escape"
Or variations.
Probably It's so socially embedded It's just a normal way of ending a conversation without a second thought.
I often struggle to end conversations but I wouldn't say something I didn't mean. If I can't think of anything I just say I'm m off too .. or I must go now. They may not be very interesting but at least they are true.