Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been in counselling for years since my divorce threw me massively. I am a boarding school survivor and I have a tendency to withdraw (or shut down) when I feel overwhelmed by challenging situations. I have been told I appear to display ADHD symptoms although I watched the Chris Packham documentary on the BBC this morning and for some reason I got very emotional. I actually cried, sat on my own at 0530 watching this program. I don't know if ti is because I related so much to the masking and that I also feel I am not able to really be myself or if I was just being empathetic.
I am going through the process of ADHD diagnosis although I could still be six years away from even getting an appointment. At 52, this scares me.
I also worry that I am just a bad person, who zones out of conversations and refuses to engage when I am feeling anxious and that I am trying to find a diagnosis that will make me feel better about being a knob.
I really enjoy spending time on my own where I don't need to pretend to be anyone else and although I enjoy being in a relationship, wonder if I can have both? I am a fidgeter and this is a real source of frustration for my partner.
One key thing I do is when I am working on my car, I can put a tool down and what feels like five seconds later, I cannot find it again and it has taken me 30 minutes then to find it and I have not been anywhere. I am also terrible for bouncing from one task to another to another and another... I once worked on my own in a department with three computers on the desk tops and had all three running with several projects ongoing on each one.
I am going through job applications after being made redundant in January and every one of the applications ask me if I have any disabilities I want to declare and to me it feels like a trap!
Just wanting to start a conversation here...
I have considered going private but the documentary recently that uncovered the eager diagnosis in order to make money from prescription medicine has made me wary. I am not interested in a diagnosis just for medication.
Hi I am a couple of years older than you and had my first professional diagnosis appointment yesterday after a 4 year wait. I know what you mean about the Christ Packham programme, I massivley identified with the woman in the first episode. I also love being alone but have been married 18 years. We both have hobbies that take up lots of our time so do not see each other a massive amount which probably helps.
I have also struggled more reciently with work. I was made redundant in 2022, and I hate my new job but we are relocating at the end of the year so i will be leaving anyway.I did not reveal my diagnosis to my current job until a few months ago when I started struggling and had a diagnosis date. Although you can ask for work adjustments on the basis of the GP diagnosis you don't ofically become disabled until the professional diagnosis.I would not consider myself disabledI
I do the same thing as you described with tools and getting distracted by trying to do too much at one after all my brain is racing at 1000mph. Over teh last few years I have been much kinder to myself, push myself less, always give myself a clear day at the weekend to recover. one thing with ASD.ADHD is we are all diffrent and have diffrent experiences.
Rob