Published on 12, July, 2020
I asked this question elsewhere else recently but I thought I’d ask here too as I’m curious.
I got into a bit of an argument with a friend recently due to a misunderstanding between ourselves. We were talking about something personal and then a couple of days later she messaged me to say that I made her feel bad because I apparently got “defensive” as we were talking.
I was really confused by this because I didn’t think I *was* being defensive (still don’t) but obviously that’s how I came across to her. Anyway, it got me wondering if this was an autistic thing and apparently it is. I read a blog post from an autistic woman saying how our facial expressions and tone of voice can be mismatched with our real feelings, so in a NT orientated world we are often misunderstood based on these things alone. It would explain why so many autistic get accused of being “rude” when they aren’t.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
I don't think I get defensive but a lot of people are always thinking I'm being defensive, even when I don't say anything, it's annoying and intrusive just commenting like that.
I try to communicate fluently and simply but I guess how I do it is misconstrued because most people seem to think I am defensive or intentionally being awkward...
I'm never either, it's just the way I am and people don't try to understand they instantly jump to incorrect conclusions of me.
i find that if you dont roll over and give up to the offensive persons opinion, they call you defensive...like if i dont agree with someone someone says and have a different opinion theyd call me defensive... or if they insult me and talk down to me and i back myself up thats defensive.... well i guess it kinda is but they are being offensive. you should be defensive really.... why should anyone take people talking them down? defence is natural reaction.infact it was only recently some guy in my flats community pages was downtalking me and speaking to me like a child. calling me childish and so on, then making subtle comments like commenting about go and go nback in your flat and play on your playstation or something insinuating im a pathetic childish nerd... despite the fact my true hobby is kickboxing and id have kicked his head in for that if he said it to my face lol and he also then claimed im hiding behind my screen to which i demanded he meet me outside and say that to my face to which he refused and hid behind his screen... yeah he called me defensive... but he was speaking down to me all the time... in the end hes a tenant and im a owner so i put him in his place and threatened to evict him and got permission off the management head that i as a owner do indeed have powers to evict any tenant lol