Relationship with an AuDHD partner

Hi there, 

i hope you are able to help.  I’m in a relationship with a partner who has had an adult diagnosis for AuDHD- he has been diagnosed with what used to be known as Asperger’s, as well as with ADHD.  We have known each other for a really long time (almost 30 decades) and have been in a relationship when we were young adults and prior to his diagnosis.  Our current relationship is relatively new - and naturally followed a supportive and growing friendship following his diagnosis.  It has started really well, loving and supportive, but lately it has been quite difficult due to misunderstandings in communication, although there are other personal factors that put strain on it.  We love each other deeply and I am just looking for advice on how to be a supportive and loving partner to someone with an adult autism diagnosis, in a way which does not treat him as an invalid, but which validates and respects his individuality.  How do we discuss our individual needs without making them feel like demands?  Any general help and suggestions would be very helpful. Thank you so much!