Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I’ve known for years that I am autistic, possibly with adhd as well. I received a letter from the local team yesterday basically saying that because I speak too well, i don’t have ritualistic behaviours (I don’t in public thanks mum.) and I don’t have in depth interests and show too much emotion that they won’t assess me. Every test I’ve done alongside my doctor has shown a need for it, is there any way to appeal or even get back on the waiting list? They’ve based their decision on a 30 minute appointment where I was shoving everything down so hard out of habit and find it difficult to talk about the issues I have because they were always disregarded when I was younger.
tThey don’t see the meltdowns, they don’t see me struggling with conversation because people get annoyed when I can’t talk about anything but my interests because it’s all I think about, how I shut down when I get too stressed.
i think I just needed to get this off my chest really. I’m fed up of being dismissed because I don’t act the way they want me to when I’m in public. That I had to learn to hide it because I’d get in trouble if I didn’t. I’m struggling big time right now and I just want to know if I’m being a baby over it.
It is worth adding, that also having ADHD can make the 'special subject' thing present differently. purely autistic people often have a single subject they immerse themselves in, whereas ADHDers seem to (certainly in my case) have an area of study and go into detail on all aspects they can think of that have an effect on there chosen special interest. My 'area of interest' is the problem of violence in the world, and I have studied not only aspects like military strategy, but also crime and punishment, psychology, economics, ballistics ... all sorts. We have a special interest, but we also have a need for the dopamine hit of studying a new topic!