Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to put this. I'm new here.
I'm really struggling ATM and I don't know where to turn to for advice.
Everything fell apart February last year. Work was putting me under a lot of strain and I ended up having a complete breakdown. I was suicidal. I couldn't sleep I couldn't speak I was just lay in bed all day in my own bubble.
This obviously put a major strain on my relationship with my partner and I have 2 young children who pretty much lost their mother.
I got help and I was considered as in recovery but in the process of getting to that stage my manager started putting pressure on me to come back to work. Constant phone calls and meetings I wasn't ready for and I made the decision to hand in my notice. It was just dragging me down when I was trying to get better
My job was very toxic but that's another long story
A week after I put my notice in my landlord told us he was selling the house and we need to leave
I then found out I'm autistic. My doctor had suspicions about it and had put me in for an assessment at the beginning of my breakdown and I was diagnosed in October. I'm still struggling with this diagnosis. I wasn't looking for a diagnosis I was looking for a fix and being told you don't need to be fixed is hard for me to understand.
Anyway. I now need to find a new home. I'm not good with change so there's the stress of that but there's also a lot of mess surrounding it
I can't afford a private house in my area now I don't have a job. My current rent is £685 which is just about affordable on my partners wage but private housing has shot up in price in the area and the cheapest is £1300 which is impossible for us
I can't get on the council because my current landlord hasn't given us an s21 and is saying if we move without it he will give us a gift of money (which I don't want) and he is giving us until December so if we don't move out it will be Christmas when I have to deal with court and balifs, which just the idea of having to go through that knocks me sick but I'm trying my best to not let things affect my kids which going through that at Christmas is the one time it will affect them the most.
I can't ask for the s21 earlier because the council say if I ask for it I will be making myself homeless and they won't help me if I do that
I just want to leave. Being in this house knowing I can't stay is killing my mental health and I can feel myself getting worse. The waiting on it going to court and then the dealing with that when it comes.. its just to much. I can't leave the area because I'd be completely isolated from my support network which I really need right now. Plus the idea of going to a new house is hard enough a whole new area is just to much
I've stopped sleeping again. I feel filled with dread all the time. I just don't know what to do.
Sorry this is long, I don't know what I'm looking for I just feel a mess and needed to reach out to someone who would listen.
Hi There, firstly welcome to the community, we are proud to have you with us! Secondly, I'm so sorry to hear about this situation you and your family are in. It sounds like a frustrating and stressful time and I hope it passes soon. I've a couple of links to articles and parts of our website that might be useful to you in ways of helping you tackle this feeling of being overwhelmed, finances and getting in a better place when it comes to your mental health.
As a starting point, you may wish to read over our information on benefits: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/benefits-and-money/benefits .You can also find more information on benefits through the Citizen’s Advice website: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/
You can also browse our website for lots of other advice and guidance on a wide range of information about autism, including what autism is, socialising and relationships, employment, benefits and social care. You may find the following page on post diagnosis useful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/post-diagnosis-support
You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health. The following two are ones I've pulled as examples that might more relevant to how you currently feel:
Anxiety https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/anxiety
Autistic fatigue and burnout https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue
I hope something there will be useful but aside from these, feel free to join in the discussions here on the community and I hope this can bridge the isolation you currently feel in you support network.
Best of luck and stay strong and be kind to yourself,
SarahMod
Thank you for your advice I will look through what you have suggested