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One for the autistic ladies

tigerlily

Hi Ladies

I was wondering how you deal with the autism? 

I was diagnosed in January this year, first of all it was a relief to finally have answers but waiting until I became an adult has been tough. I was also diagnosed with dyspraxia and dyscalculia. I also have a Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Now I am really struggling with not fitting in to social situations and find that it is really starting to upset me.

Christmas was very tough, I have no contact with my family so was with my Godmother but found this very hard with lots of people and lots of noise so spent a lot of time having time out alone. Now it is New Years Eve and I'm home alone and although when I am with people, I want to leave straight away, I'm not sure which is worse. I guess I'm starting to feel depressed by this. 

I also go to church and find this difficult with a lot of people and I cannot join in groups and events as it is too hard, my brain won't allow me to cope with it.

I guess I feel at the moment as though this will never change, that this is going to be my life forever, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone with no friends or family.

Was just wondering how you deal with it?

  • Hi 

    For me I am perfectly happy on my own, doing my own thing. You say that a lot of people is hard, maybe you would like time to do things by yourself sometimes?

    However, you also say you get lonely, so maybe a autism group would be good for you. I have a group in my local area, and the NAS cover some areas and have different services. (http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/residential-community-and-social-support.aspx)  Maybe the support or social services would be good for you if they are in your area. If not their might be another group in your area, I do not have a NAS group but their is another group.   I go to the group here when I can, its nice to not feel like you have to 'try and fit in' and not have people questining my behaviour (which is unusal). 

    I think you need to find a balance between people and being by yourelf, because in your message it sounds like it is really mixed for you at the moment. and maybe also find oportunities to have smaller groups of people. Like at the church, is their groups there on other days with less people that might be easier?  Also most places are willing to help if they understand. I am quite supirsed by how people don't understand, I made a 'about me' sheet that says what autism is and how it affects me and it really helps. If you do this or otherwise tell them about having autism they might be able to help.

    Hope some of this helps, 
    Amy  

  • I'm sure if I hadn't got married I would be somewhere alone feeling like that.  I am pretty estranged from my family, they don't get me and I don't enjoy seeing them.  My brother rang me 2 days ago and I really struggled to know what to say to him, so I just ended up asking him about himself (his favourite subject) to fill the conversation.

    I am really bad with maths, not sure if that equates to dyscalculia, but I seem to have ADHD as well and also tested within clinical range on a DID questionnaire.

    I wish I knew what to advise you, maybe if you could cultivate friendships from any Aspie group that might run locally or with some geeky, sensitve types that you would feel a kinship with.  At least you are going to church and this means you are not socially isolated.  I think at some point, you will come to terms with who you are and what you need and not judge yourself for it.

    No-one can say what will happen, you can meet a partner in the most unlikely ways and places, so don't mentally condemn yourself to a lonely life.  Just try to occupy yourself with things that you enjoy and not cut yourself off from socialising completely.