How did you react to your diagnosis?

I think processing the diagnosis can be really difficult for a lot of people. If it was difficult for me and because life is ever changing it's a constant time of processing everything going on in your life and around you.

Being autistic is a huge thing, it's a lot to take in so give yourself time. I was diagnosed a few years ago and even now I'm still coming to terms with my diagnosis and what it means for me. It's not always easy but I remain happy at being diagnosed early in life.

How you're feeling is absolutely normal. We're here if you need to talk or need support. Look after yourself and take care.

A little late to this but I was so relieved I started crying. When the psychiatryUk person confirmed it I felt so much relief. I'd been considering having autism for a while, almost 2 and a half years, but had spent a lot of time telling myself I was making it up (due to being called an attention seeker for the majority of my life). She also said I showed signs of ADHD (now diagnosed with that recently too). There was also grief, knowing how many people missed things - Family (several who literally work with people like me), friends, doctors, psychologists, school, college, counsellors. 

Diagnosed at 24. I was left with a report to read through, and I just stopped and read through the suggestions on help to receive.

I am mad that no one throughout my education and GP visits flagged that my suffering and loneliness were a result of my autistic brain. 

I am also mad at the lack of resources to support autistic individuals growing up, throughout life and later in life.

I kind of feel overloaded at the moment with no social life, having to cope with a cost of living crisis, being discriminated against when it comes to job hunting and applications and trying to get around from A to B for years without a private car. Travelling to the university by bus for the previous five years, with no social life and working part-time, broke me.

Ironically I wrote about how to improve mental health and wellbeing for my dissertation, but the ideas I discussed will probably never get implemented to help those with over active minds. 

I am tired of this planet. 

You are so welcome! I am so glad the links I have shared are helping you and your wife to understand your experiences!

If you want anymore advice or information including sharing lived experiences or reassurance I am more than happy to help you.

Thanks for these AA, that's really helpful. I had a quick look at the video (might watch the whole thing when I have time) but the blog was immediately useful and I passed it on to my wife too.

Dawn said:

So overjoyed I danced around my living room. 

That’s great Dawn!

So overjoyed I danced around my living room. 

But I think there are no correct responses to this.  Much will depend on the circumstance which led to the diagnosis and whether you worked it out yourself or somebody sprang the news on you and what you feel you are now able to do with that information.

I was diagnosed last year, age 55. I knew I had major problems with life, so on that front it was a big plus to know why. But, then, I slowly realise the 'problem' is in me and I am the one not fitting in or functioning well and that will never be cured. All the emotional issues, perception and comprehension problems, and the rest will never end.  So for me it is realising the reality of me, and adjusting how I deal with it. There are alot of downsides to autism, but I do believe you can survive and find ways to circumvent them enough to live positively. I can't do it alone though. Alone I am lost in it. Up to now I can say I have been relieved, depressed, anxious, despairing...but ultimately I put it into context best I can and work on new strategies. I don't like 'new'! But at least autism gives me a great desire to plan and create structured routine. Asking for help is not so nice.

Relief, grief, underwhelm at the lack of support and currently more grief, realising that my life isn’t fixable 

It was a huge relief for me. I'd known for years, but after years of medical gaslighting over this and various physical health issues I felt like I couldn't trust my own judgement any more. Getting confirmation that I'd been right was huge for me.

I won't say it's all been positive- I've been quite angry sometimes that I struggled for so long with no help. You do need to process it though because it's a big deal- if you haven't had any counselling or therapy, or haven't spoken much to other autistic people, now might be the time to consider it.

I was diagnosed at 59. I was hugely relieved, as I now had an explanation for my quirks, difficulties and limitations. I have viewed my autistic status as being overwhelmingly positive ever since. My position is perhaps privileged, because though my autistic traits have sometimes had a limiting effect on my life, I have a very stoical character and I would not let these limitations prevent me from achieving goals that were particularly important to me. I also, retrospectively, have recognised that some of my autistic traits, the ability to concentrate on one thing (intense focus) and problem solving from unusual directions (lateral thinking), are very valuable.

Honestly, I found it a little underwhelming. Like it was relief to finally have an explanation of why things turned out this way, but I kinda hoped it would give me the tools to deal better with myself and that hasn't really happened yet. 

RAGE. Unending rage. I discovered my diagnosis at 25, I was diagnosed at 7 but my schizophrenic father kept it from me. I rethought everything: my struggles in school, in work and in relationships. I wasted all the best years of my life and nothing is going to give them back to me. I never forgave my parents, my mother died slowly of cancer and told her that she deserved much worse. 

I am still in rage 20 years later. Rage at my parents, rage at the people that had a duty of care to me and did nothing (GP, paediatrician, teachers). Rage at ASD itself. Rage at those fools that keep telling me that ASD is a superpower and the next step of human evolution (LOL). It is not. 

TAh, I got a second diagnosis in UK one year ago, but it was only to leech some workplace adjustments. It triggered some rage flashbacks, tbh. The psychiatrist in PsychiatryUK told me that I am in the top 10% of functionality, and I believe her. It;s only a matter of blind luck if I did not end up like Chris-Chan, so I should feel relieved.

I was merely six years old when I got statemented. I knew I was different, but I wasn't sure why I was getting different treatment. As far as I was concerned, this was just something that happened and I had no reaction. 

I just had immense trouble understanding things and reading. Plus I had such a strange obsession with toilets! But hey, one of the quirks of autism eh? 

People ask me, "What is it like being autistic?", to which I responded, "I can't say. I don't know what it's like to be not autistic so I can't give you an accurate response." 

Hi! Many of us feel a complex and non linear array of emotions after our autistic discovery, this is perfectly natural and valid.

Below I have posted links to both the video and article format of the six common reactions to autistic discovery:

https://aucademy.co.uk/2022/01/20/six-common-reactions-during-autistic-discovery/

https://www.youtube.com/live/oo34mppLMqE?si=vYl6s8g-GVDKhuiK

I hope these resources help you understand you are not alone and make sense of what you are experiencing.