• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 79 subscribers
  • Views 1395 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Help :(

tigerlily

Hi

Could someone please give me advice, I don't know what to do any more. I'm feeling very lost and alone. 

I'm trying I really am but nothing works. When I try to share about the autism no one understands and people give up. They think I'm rude and uncaring because I struggle to build conversation and to communicate. They always sit there and tell me what I need to do and say to build conversation and to build relationships but when I try to explain to them why I'm struggling with it, I'm told I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

Christmas was tough. My own family have rejected me so I was staying with my godmother, her whole family was over, I didn't know these people and they certainly didn't come to spend time with me. The noise was so crazy, I just had to excape and I think that was wrong somehow. And then Christmas lunch, I didn't think I was going to get through it. It was so loud and voices from every direction, it really hurt.

Why does my head hurt so much when I try to do conversation?

Why doesn't what's in my head come out correct or with the right words?

Yesterday we had made a plan that if there were no trains, my godmother would bring me home. She changed the plan and said I was to wait to today to get the train. Last night she said when would I be leaving and I said whenever, like whenever was suitable. I must have missed something because she turned not nice and went into the kitchen with her husband and started talking about me. When they came back in the room I went to bed and I got up and left the house. 

Now I don't know what to do.

I'm running on empty. Why do people just tell me all the things I do wrong? When will they say something nice? Why do they always want to pick a fight? Why do people even send horrible emails? Or call me a retard in the street? 

Why won't my brain work so people aren't angry with me? 

Parents

  • Hi Tigerlily, thanks for your post. I find writing stuff down helps to get things into perspective. You're very good with words. I've had similar Christmas experiences to what you describe but I'd avoid the trains just now as you could end up jammed in a carriage so tight you can barely scratch your nose for the crush. Your other replies talk about finding some space which can be difficult but gives you a chance to recover. Have you tried the "fake" reading trick? Pick a book (music, game or texting), find a comfortable spot around but slightly out of the way then retreat into your own space (inside you). People are usually much more accepting of of someone enthawled by a book and you save yourself from the anguish of hiding or running away. For me, much of the pain (and anger) is because I hate being "me" in a crowded situation. Being able to retreat allows me to unwind and see the "me" i'm friends with when I'm on my own. When I'm friends with mysekf again (well speaking terms) then I can cope much better with other people. 

Reply

  • Hi Tigerlily, thanks for your post. I find writing stuff down helps to get things into perspective. You're very good with words. I've had similar Christmas experiences to what you describe but I'd avoid the trains just now as you could end up jammed in a carriage so tight you can barely scratch your nose for the crush. Your other replies talk about finding some space which can be difficult but gives you a chance to recover. Have you tried the "fake" reading trick? Pick a book (music, game or texting), find a comfortable spot around but slightly out of the way then retreat into your own space (inside you). People are usually much more accepting of of someone enthawled by a book and you save yourself from the anguish of hiding or running away. For me, much of the pain (and anger) is because I hate being "me" in a crowded situation. Being able to retreat allows me to unwind and see the "me" i'm friends with when I'm on my own. When I'm friends with mysekf again (well speaking terms) then I can cope much better with other people. 

Children
No Data