Help :(

Hi

Could someone please give me advice, I don't know what to do any more. I'm feeling very lost and alone. 

I'm trying I really am but nothing works. When I try to share about the autism no one understands and people give up. They think I'm rude and uncaring because I struggle to build conversation and to communicate. They always sit there and tell me what I need to do and say to build conversation and to build relationships but when I try to explain to them why I'm struggling with it, I'm told I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

Christmas was tough. My own family have rejected me so I was staying with my godmother, her whole family was over, I didn't know these people and they certainly didn't come to spend time with me. The noise was so crazy, I just had to excape and I think that was wrong somehow. And then Christmas lunch, I didn't think I was going to get through it. It was so loud and voices from every direction, it really hurt.

Why does my head hurt so much when I try to do conversation?

Why doesn't what's in my head come out correct or with the right words?

Yesterday we had made a plan that if there were no trains, my godmother would bring me home. She changed the plan and said I was to wait to today to get the train. Last night she said when would I be leaving and I said whenever, like whenever was suitable. I must have missed something because she turned not nice and went into the kitchen with her husband and started talking about me. When they came back in the room I went to bed and I got up and left the house. 

Now I don't know what to do.

I'm running on empty. Why do people just tell me all the things I do wrong? When will they say something nice? Why do they always want to pick a fight? Why do people even send horrible emails? Or call me a retard in the street? 

Why won't my brain work so people aren't angry with me? 

Parents
  • I am similar to you tigerlily, I hate being in that kind of environment, for me it's about personal space, personal noise, personal conversation and when these are influenced by others then I just don't want to be there.

    I never understand why people have to shout and scream so much and mostly about things so trivial, it's like everything is a scene from Eastenders, mostly I avoid conversation but some people always try to get you to join in and often put you on the spot then consider then response as rude especially as I have difficulty like you saying the right thing, half the time they never let you finish speaking anyway so what is the point in asking you things ?

    Like Intenseworld I find that the only way to is avoid it all, at least that way I am in control of my own environment, this does not mean you have to be alone, but that you have to be more selective with those that you mix with and try to mix only with people who understand and have patience.

Reply
  • I am similar to you tigerlily, I hate being in that kind of environment, for me it's about personal space, personal noise, personal conversation and when these are influenced by others then I just don't want to be there.

    I never understand why people have to shout and scream so much and mostly about things so trivial, it's like everything is a scene from Eastenders, mostly I avoid conversation but some people always try to get you to join in and often put you on the spot then consider then response as rude especially as I have difficulty like you saying the right thing, half the time they never let you finish speaking anyway so what is the point in asking you things ?

    Like Intenseworld I find that the only way to is avoid it all, at least that way I am in control of my own environment, this does not mean you have to be alone, but that you have to be more selective with those that you mix with and try to mix only with people who understand and have patience.

Children
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