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Help :(

tigerlily

Hi

Could someone please give me advice, I don't know what to do any more. I'm feeling very lost and alone. 

I'm trying I really am but nothing works. When I try to share about the autism no one understands and people give up. They think I'm rude and uncaring because I struggle to build conversation and to communicate. They always sit there and tell me what I need to do and say to build conversation and to build relationships but when I try to explain to them why I'm struggling with it, I'm told I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

Christmas was tough. My own family have rejected me so I was staying with my godmother, her whole family was over, I didn't know these people and they certainly didn't come to spend time with me. The noise was so crazy, I just had to excape and I think that was wrong somehow. And then Christmas lunch, I didn't think I was going to get through it. It was so loud and voices from every direction, it really hurt.

Why does my head hurt so much when I try to do conversation?

Why doesn't what's in my head come out correct or with the right words?

Yesterday we had made a plan that if there were no trains, my godmother would bring me home. She changed the plan and said I was to wait to today to get the train. Last night she said when would I be leaving and I said whenever, like whenever was suitable. I must have missed something because she turned not nice and went into the kitchen with her husband and started talking about me. When they came back in the room I went to bed and I got up and left the house. 

Now I don't know what to do.

I'm running on empty. Why do people just tell me all the things I do wrong? When will they say something nice? Why do they always want to pick a fight? Why do people even send horrible emails? Or call me a retard in the street? 

Why won't my brain work so people aren't angry with me? 

Parents

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling like this.  Sadly, there is no magic cure for people that are intolerant.  Autism awareness is the only thing that can improve peoples' perceptions and attitudes.

    Family usually treat close relatives worse than they would treat strangers, "familiarity breeds contempt" as the saying goes.

    I am presuming they are all aware that you have an autism spectrum condition?  Perhaps you could send them/leave laying around information leaflets about autism, explain to them that it's a neurological difference that is lifelong and because your brain is wired differently, no matter how much they tell you that you should behave a certain way it won't change you.

    I have found the only solution is to distance myself from people, which in itself is sad but you have to do what you need for your own anxiety levels to keep yourself from slipping into depression.  You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.  Forcing yourself into situations for their sake won't make you happy.

    They need to know what autism is, how it affects someone and you need to stand your ground and tell them what you need and what you can't handle, so that in future, interactions are not so difficult for you.  Make them see that although it's an invisible disability, it still is a disability, and if they love you they will try to accommodate you.

Reply

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling like this.  Sadly, there is no magic cure for people that are intolerant.  Autism awareness is the only thing that can improve peoples' perceptions and attitudes.

    Family usually treat close relatives worse than they would treat strangers, "familiarity breeds contempt" as the saying goes.

    I am presuming they are all aware that you have an autism spectrum condition?  Perhaps you could send them/leave laying around information leaflets about autism, explain to them that it's a neurological difference that is lifelong and because your brain is wired differently, no matter how much they tell you that you should behave a certain way it won't change you.

    I have found the only solution is to distance myself from people, which in itself is sad but you have to do what you need for your own anxiety levels to keep yourself from slipping into depression.  You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.  Forcing yourself into situations for their sake won't make you happy.

    They need to know what autism is, how it affects someone and you need to stand your ground and tell them what you need and what you can't handle, so that in future, interactions are not so difficult for you.  Make them see that although it's an invisible disability, it still is a disability, and if they love you they will try to accommodate you.

Children
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