Is it normal to want to be normal?

I'm newly diagnosed as autistic and part of me still wants to be "normal".......whatever normal is. Is this normal? Any advice from anyone feeling a similar way?

  • I guess that's a "Reason to be cheerful"...

  • 'There is no such thing as normal.' -- Ian Dury

  • It's normal to want to fit in and be accepted by others. We all want to feel like we belong. However, it's important to remember that being normal is overrated. In fact, it's much more interesting to be unique and different. So don't be afraid to embrace your individuality. The world needs more people who are willing to stand out from the crowd.

    I don't think there's any such thing as normal anyway. We're all different, we're all unique, I try to embrace this in myself. I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to fit in and please others but not anymore.

  • for me “Normal”/ “not normal” is just a subjective thing, depending on how the majority is. My mom says: we are the normal ones, the rest of the world is crazy. I stopped trying to be “normal”- like others. Sometimes I just try to act “normal” if necessary but I know that im different and I always was. So for me nothing changes. I know that im unable to maintain multiple friendships so I have just one friend for 15 years and she is living in another country so I have no one to see frequently and im happy enjoying my own company and having contact with her online/ on the phone. The diagnosis does not change anyone into autistic, it only informs and explains why we are the way we are. It may be hard to accept, or shocking. 

  • Personally, I would prefer to be myself, but with a flawless intellectual ability to understand the 'normals'. That way I would on a level playing field with them, when I wanted to be.

  • Normals scare the sh*t out of me. But being Aspie in the normal world also scares the sh*t out of me too!

  • Good on ye! My 30's were rad that way too.

  • I am still trying to figure out what "normal" is. I have given it up and now just enjoy the show like at a multiplex. I'm just one among many  movies.

  • I have had a life in the past where I have been told "Why can't you be normal like us?" and no matter how hard I tried and what I did, my greatest efforts were never enough! 

     Eventually, somewhere around my mid  30's I reached the point in my life when I said to myself "Stuff everyone else. I am me!" and " If they don't like it, tough! "  

    It was very liberating... for a while...

  • Yes, I would like to be 'normal' - I'm tired of fighting my over-analytical, over-sensitive, autistic brain.

  • So you wouldn’t be sad if your son never has friends or a partner, like many of us?

  • I don't know...

    There are a lot of areas I beat myself up in and just wish I could do and be capable of things so-called 'normal' people do with relative ease but at the same time I don't really want to be a vanilla everyman either, I must admit when learning and coming to terms with my autism I appreciate some of my differences that I now realise are related to it. Despite everything and the self hate I often get, I don't think I would really want to be somebody else

  • You are normal...there is nothing "wrong or not normal" about you anyway....you're good as you are ...in fact as a neuro typical I often find myself jealous of my son who is autistic as his thinking I feel sometimes is better than mine I often find myself realising that it's me who is wrong etc...its just different and my son hates it when I say we just have different brains as he says yeah but your not neurologicaly disabled it is what it is etc…he sees what he can't do and others can etc. I feel that it's just ignorance ie when neuro typical say oh you're not normal etc ..its just plain ignorant and a lack of knowledge  and understanding.  What if the world was all autistic brains with neuro typical in the minority it'd be the other way round then.

  • Hey man, I understand how you feel. I spent a long time wishing I was normal but you know what, we are all normal. We're all different and unique. That is normal. You get groups of people who like to be like everyone else, but I think the best person you can be is yourself.

    It's not always easy and I often find myself still wishing I could be normal but I try to remind myself that I am normal and I'm doing ok.

  • Yes I think that is perfectly normal. I am in my 50's and ASD was not diagnoseable when I was a kid. I desperatly spent all my life masking and trying to be normal, its exhausting.  I have a half and half brain with half of it trying to fight the autistic side and be normal. It doesn't always get right what normal should be and is oftern not taking into account that normal people, unlike me, can have empathy and emotions. I think you need to find out who you are, I still don't know, and work with that.