Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I was diagnosed with autism 3 years ago as a 30 year old man and at that time I had a decent quality of life, a good job, a great social life and wonderful home life. However even with this life I ended up with quite severe depression which after a while resulted me in receiving the diagnosis of having autism. It’s obvious now that throughout my life I was continuously masking just to get through each day and to survive so to speak.
Now that I’m more aware about myself and allow myself to be truly me, I find it extremely difficult to be happy sometimes which may be the case for some of you also. I particularly find it difficult in gaining employment once again which is more suitable to my needs and also being social making friends who accept me for how I am and for who I am.
With this in mind I’m genuinely curious to see what is the biggest issue you find or struggle with as an autistic individual?
Thank you for taking to the time look at this and hoping your having a good day!
Socialising. I have to mask myself around people a lot, especially in my full time job. Throughout most of my education, I have had people say I am too quiet, not loud enough, needing to get out of my comfort zone, needing to look past my disability etc. These comments make me feel like something is wrong with me and make me feel inadequate about myself.
I have clinical depression on top of this Haswell which doesn't make things any easier.
As of recently, I have had a family friend/colleague say these things and now I feel like I want to off myself because no matter how hard I try, I can never mould myself into the image people expect for me. Comments like this take me back to childhood traumas and I also have trust issues due to this. I have even considered looking for another job so I don't have to deal with this person.