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Meltdown help for relationships

NAS90929
9 months ago

Hi everyone I’m new here, and I was diagnosed audhd last year. I’ve been with my partner who is also audhd for 9 years but I’m struggling with meltdowns in my relationship. I have always had them through my life and they have always been physical with lashing out or inward on myself too throwing things or excessive crying if they go beyond a certain stage. I try to give verbal warning as soon as I can tell I’m going to meltdown but my partner is my biggest trigger and he doesn’t listen when I say that I’ve reached my limit which means i have a meltdown any time I feel the conflict rising. Afterwards when we are both calm we try to discuss it but he accuses me of being manipulative and having a meltdown to get my own way which feels really hurtful as I’m just trying to cope and I wish I had strategies to help, and also he is autistic but shows it in different ways to me so isn’t able to empathise. I’m not looking for advice such as “leave the relationship” as we are going to therapy in the new year both together and separately but more for any help for before I get to the stage of a physical meltdown, as I’m still really trying to navigate all of this and I’m in a major autism burnout (been diagnosed with M.E). Thanks in advance 

Parents
  • 9 months ago

    Hi

    I have been in my relationship for probably 26yrs now, I have 2 children of which my 8yr old is asd. I’m asd and my partner is Nt. It’s a crazy mix but somehow we are still together. I always assumed that having a partner who was neurodivergent as well as yourself would make it easier in understanding each other. Me and my wife are on completely different planets tbh and really struggle with each other’s company sometimes. Being in a partnership is very challenging but also having been together for so long should give you some sense of achievement. These are the things you have to work out over time. 
    Hope you get something out of the sessions 

    My advice is hang in there, you obviously care about each other and at the end of the day that’s what you build a relationship on.

    Good luck 

Reply
  • 9 months ago

    Hi

    I have been in my relationship for probably 26yrs now, I have 2 children of which my 8yr old is asd. I’m asd and my partner is Nt. It’s a crazy mix but somehow we are still together. I always assumed that having a partner who was neurodivergent as well as yourself would make it easier in understanding each other. Me and my wife are on completely different planets tbh and really struggle with each other’s company sometimes. Being in a partnership is very challenging but also having been together for so long should give you some sense of achievement. These are the things you have to work out over time. 
    Hope you get something out of the sessions 

    My advice is hang in there, you obviously care about each other and at the end of the day that’s what you build a relationship on.

    Good luck 

Children
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