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Dreading Christmas party

Hope

 Tonight I have a Christmas party that I have to attend for work reasons, and I am dreading it. For a start, it is late in the day/evening, and I get increasingly tired and irritable in the evening; this is not helped by the fact it is now so dark, and my anxiety goes through the roof.

I hate parties: they are loud, hot, with people everywhere, and no structure. I know I can escape to the toilets if it gets too much, but I still feel very uneasy. And then, when it is over, I will have to travel home feeling close to nervous collapse.

Not really sure what I want out of this post, perhaps I just want to get this off my chest. Am I alone in hating parties?

  • aaaghhh finger buffet, loud music, drunk people and loads of strangers. I can't eat the food, I can't drink unless I wash the glass first and I can't stand the wrong kind of music with bass/drums, it must be worse being a girl though, drunk men trying to chat you up.

  • I have got home after the party, and am naturally tired (luckily I get to have a lie-in tomorrow), but the party went better than anticipated. Due to my OCD I can't actually eat food at parties (unless it is my own), but I talked to one person and got to know him a bit more, and I did a bit of door service - welcoming guests. Am pleased it is over, though!

  • I hate Christmas parties 9and parties in general) too. The last party I went to was last year. I was invited by a friend of mine who is also Autistic and I'd explained my concernes with noise beforehand. She said the music will start off quiet and would gradually increase. She said she wouldn't be offended if we left early.

    I quite enjoyed it.

  • I used to go to parties early and leave just as they got going (I say used to - I don't go to any now). Once the background noise and movement gets complex things deteriorate. I'm reasonably OK with background music, but its the crossover of many voices, and people milling around that gets me.

    Also I lose coherence when there's too much going on, everything sounds like a foreign language.

    Consequently if I have to go to a social gathering I find being near a wall helps, as the sound and movement only come from one direction. I get criticised for being anti-social, but if I mingle things deteriorate rapidly.

    If I try to outstay my tolerance levels, I just start to shut down. I usually end up sat in a corner or at the foot of stairs looking "out of it" and perceived by others to be drunk or on something. I've been refused alcohol at formalised parties because I look like I've had too much when I haven't had anything.

    I have found that kitchens, even if there's chat there, are easier, also being by an open outside door (in summer obviously) on the excuse I feel I need air, helps. I try to move around regularly.

    Something else that helps is getting involved with the "running" - collecting used plates and glasses, washing up, helping to pass round more drinks. An activity seems to make things easier.