I'm needing some help understanding my boyfriend...

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year now - I adore him, his way of exisiting in the world and his passion for all things vibrant and lively.

He's absolutely my person.

The beginning of our relationship was different to what it is now. That's not a detrimental thing at all, we're more comfortable together, we're learning about each other and sometimes that's a robust process and I'm usually the one who ends up with some tears and he's unfortunately very confused. 

One thing that has changed has been the way he compliments me. It's not very often anymore rather it's more practical acts. Being interstate and long distance doesn't help with a lack of words and admiration from my boyfriend when I can't experience him and his ways of showing care in person.

Last night I had asked out of curiosity if he finds me physically attractive, because it had been a while since I heard him explicitly mention something along those lines.

He couldn't tell me whether he did or not, but he could convey that I have many other qualities that are important to him and our relationship.

I feel entirely undesirable but extremely cared for and recognised for the value I bring to our relationship in other ways.

At the same time as an ADHD self identifying woman, that's really confusing for me to work through with my own ways of navigating my world and feelings...

Any insight or suggestions on how I could be more supportive or anything material I should read to help build my own understanding of the environments and adversities my boyfriend has to navigate would be very appreciated.

I hope everyone is keeping well, connected and self caring during the festive season - have a warmth and happy holiday season.

Thank you.