Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
The last time I posted here was two years ago as I was on a waiting list for a possible diagnosis of Autism. Up until my diagnosis I just felt that I was fake until that point because what if I wasn't autistic and it was actually something else. Well yesterday I finally got the diagnosis and I am autistic and I was also diagnosed with OCD separately too.
I've found out at 36 years old, I've been through a lot in my life and it's made me feel like I need not have suffered in my life had I have known, but my husband (who has ADHD and understands these feelings I have) and the doctor have said the past is the past now, but I can move forward etc.
Honestly for me the relief is amazing, for years and years I have known there was something different about me and I started to feel like I was a problem or a bad person because of how others perceived me. But no I wasn't a bad person at all, I just think in a different way and that's ok. And I was right all a long, there was something different about me, I just didn't now what exactly it was. Now I know for certain and its strange because all of a sudden some of the things I do or feel and felt bad about (for example saying no to social situations which cause me great anxiety) I no longer feel bad about, its me, thats how I am and thats ok.
I'm someone who rarely ever uses forums or even posts on social media, so this post is a big step for me. My doctor recommended tons of research, joining a forum and books etc to really understand more about my autism.
I'm still finding out things that I do which I think I only do are actually autistic traits. So despite having this diagnosis and being autistic there's still so much for me to learn because what makes me unique, what makes others unique.
I'm just so happy to finally have these answers.
Welcome and congrats onyour diagnosis.
It sounds like this has been a positive thing for you and that you are embracing your confirmed autism.
Be aware that you may have the odd "wobble" or two over the coming weeks. I found my diagnosis to be a revelation and that the first couple of months to be a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions.Don't worry too much if you do find yourself questioning past events. Yes, they are in the past, but hopefully now you can add some clarity or context to things that may have troubled you in the past.
Its good to hear that your husband is able to understand (given his ADHD) and that your GP sounds very supportive.
Welcome to the club
Thank you for your kind words and the advice about the coming weeks and months. This is something I'll definitely bare in my mind because emotion regulation is certainly something I struggle with.
Thank you again so much.