Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi All,
So to give a general description, I'm apparently doing ok according to my new employer, indeed been told im 'really good' from them and given plenty of room to manoeuvre - all good , but got several critical emails from client with 'i'm dissapointed' in it.. ( this to me is game over, all or nothing thinking, just find another career) but i understand its typical language and not personal but inwardly I really can't compute the difference. I'm riddled with anxiety, i don't feel that i am really navigating the cut throat business world - i'm just trying to be the honest me (im *** otherwise) which i think puts me at a disadvantage.
I feel I need to correct this soon or I am going to fail somehow and i'm anticipating losing my job soon. I'm wondering how others deal with similar negative feedback despite doing your best.
You actually can't please everybody, you can have done nothing wrong and someone still be disapointed, sometimes it's not you that's done something incorrect it's that the result is just not what they were expecting. And nobody is wrong, it's simply how it is. You have to just learn to wash your hands of it and not take it personally when it happens. If the anxiety rises say no to it, remind yourself the anxiety is not justified because your boss is happy with you and it's just someone being disapointed, it's not like you killed their dog or anything like that.
Ohhhhh God I remember feedback, which always meant I was in trouble!!!
Once I'd receive a new complaint, it would absorb me for weeks. From then on everytime the phone rang, my head would tell me this is another customer whose got home, and is ringing to speak to the boss about me. I'd over escalate everything, I'd go over what I'd done that day, who I had spoken to, may I have offended anyone, was my work perfect, I'd loose sleep over it for nights znd nights, then be in work absolutely friend of all life which would obviously incur more mistakes, more feedback. After near 40 years of this, along with other things, I have not worked since pandemic and I'd rather opt out of life than be forced back into the rat race. You're still young, make sure you ate in the correct job for you. Until aged 34 I worked many many non skilled jobs, aged 34 I went back to college, found a vocation I did once really enjoy. I just couldn't take no more. Had I been diagnosed many years ago, id have not pushed myself and been pushed to work the hours I did. Had I been helped back then, I would probably still have been working now as I did enjoy my trade.
Work or no work, meet only your own expectations, trying to meet others is dire.
clients and customers will always be disappointed in todays world, because when they claim to be so they can try and swindle a discount or a freebie out of it.they are hustlers trying to hustle you, pay no attention to them.
So your feedback from your employer is encouraging. It sounds like the comments from the client are not about you as you said. How about speaking to your employer for some re assurance? I have all or nothing thinking and the need to do a perfect job. We are hard on ourselves. I always raise my bar high. Sounds like you are doing a good job x
Some people will complain just because they can, and in business perhaps they think complaining will get them a discount? Some people are generally unhappy and it spills into everything. Some people have unrealistic expectations and don't take into account others differences or newness to a role.
In my last job I eventually made a friend who almost understood me and I could ask her to explain things from a different perspective, which helped me calm down after similar emails. When someone was disappointed in me I couldn't see anything but my failure she would help me see where the mistake lay (if there was one) or see why the customers expectations were not reasonable.
If a particular issue comes up often could a manager/colleague help you work out ways round it? I was in data analysis and realised I wasn't asking enough questions of the customer because I assumed they knew what they were asking for, a lot of the time they didn't. I wrote down questions and kept them by my computer so that when anyone asked for something I had a guide of things to ask them when they phoned. I would then email them back with my understanding of their requirements asking them to confirm. This reduced issues somewhat. Without that I would end up doing a piece of work multiple times because they would see the results and say, oh I forgot we need to include/exclude this.
If the business world becomes unbearable maybe look for public services to which your skills could be transferred? Local government, NHS etc generally have very clear (if odd) ways of working. It's not so cut throat , although that is changing slowly.
Well, even big businesses have feedback from clients and customers, because no one is perfect, and businesses are always adapting to the feedback of the people. So in receiving emails with feedback in them, it's just a chance for you to improve and learn.