Published on 12, July, 2020
I really struggle to just live and i find it hard to explain, i dont get the help i need because of this. Talking and thinking about my feelings is really hard, and i dont even really know what is wrong a lot of the time, but i really feel like i need help and i dont know where to start. I cant make friends properly, i cant keep relationships in my own family, i struggle to leave the house most days and to try new things. My daily routine has slowly got to a point where everything takes place within my house, and now i feel so anxious whenever i need to do anything but sit on my sofa and stim. i dont know where to start to get better and i live at university, barely having gone to class in the last month. I dont have much of a support system but refuse to give up on my degree and move home as i have less than a year left. I am proud i have made it this far, but i cant help but think i will never be able to live a life like everyone else and be happy. I'm really tired of everyday being such a struggle.
My main form of support was my boyfriend, but he broke up with me and now everything feels so different and my life has changed so much, i dont even know where to begin or who i am outside of my struggles. I dont enjoy anything anymore, not even the two topics that i used to get obsessed over.
it feels alienating, ive never met anyone like me before and i feel so alone.
I dont think we are like other people. If we try to be we are likely to become exhausted. Try not to think of it as getting better, but as being you. If you have lost your main support then no doubt this will be contributing to how you feel right now.
It sucks i know x