Published on 12, July, 2020
I have difficulty with emotions. I think the main danger is I tend to find myself trying to escape uncomfortable feelings by punishing myself. Why can’t I realise I am powerless over my autistic responses, my hypersensitivity my being easily overwhelmed. To summarise: I fear making life harder for myself because I cannot read the basic typical benevolence of the Universe and I go to the most negative paranoid interpretation. Getting unnecessary revenge then leads to consequences.
Well part of the distress of autism can come from having a social impairment alongside a spared intellect, the result over-time is that you try to make your condition less-painful for others at the cost of yourself, so this can lead to psychological-distress which then develops into manifested-behaviours that reinforce a safety-based stability.
Essentially your fear of psychological-distress is reinforcing negativity, which suits survival but doesn’t suit development, in order to gain even a 1% chance of positivity development you need to take chances. Perhaps your behaviour was built for a reason, and was the best means at the time, but it may not be optimal now. Perhaps you will find that you can either withstand it or supplement it this time..
So to round of the whole thought into an action, the next time you take an interest in a thing, pursuit it. If nothing happens then your fear is no longer 100% warranted, it is 50% warranted, and so on.. you don’t need to be able to read the room with that, you only need to read the stats, autistic people tend to be great with procedural learning..:)