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Max's Morning Mayhem

Max has left the platform (them/they)
10 months ago

It is yet another day where I have woken up hating the world and most especially myself 

Because yesterday was so awful I went to bed at 9 p.m. I went to sleep, woke five times in the night, snored, experience sleep apnea  according to the app, and woke up  with back pain, knee pain, feet pain, sweating like a pig with clothes wet through and clinging to me, desperate for the toilet and so uncoordinated I walked into the bedroom door. 

I have tried to put my loops in but my ears produce so much gunk in the night I can't do it, I wake up and vomit snot like I've been sniffing all night, this combination is just making me meltdown more and more 

Folks this i breaking me. Doctors don't pay any attention to what I'm saying and I'm sodding miserable. I cannot start a day regulated and if I win it back it is easily lost. 

I know there's nothing anybody can do and I have given up asking doctors they just don't listen to what I'm telling them.

I don't even know what I hope you guys can give me, but I am so tired of being alone with this

Parents
  • 10 months ago

    Hi Max

    I recognise some of this. I get lots of physical affects that doctors shrug at, including your pains and sweating, snottiness, dizziness, unintelligible thoughts. Nerves like someone is dragging a net over me. Feeling like I'm going to fall over. I've had tests and zilch.

    What I have found out over the years though is that food is key. I mean, really the difference between mood chaos and suicidal thoughts and sleepless nights like you describe and sleeping okay, feeling stable etc.

    Maybe you already know all this, but if not take a look at sugar intake first, that's the worst for me. And by sugar I mean anything that raises your blood sugars, like starchy foods, alcohol, fruit, processed stuff.

    My Mum had the same symptoms as me but wouldn't accept her diet had anything to do with her health (and she didn't eat badly but couldn't tolerate what she did eat). She ended up on steroids for the pain for years and died miserable. Every time I eat too much of what makes me worse I feel like I'm on the same path.

    Hope you're feeling better by now, life is hard for sure.

Reply
  • 10 months ago

    Hi Max

    I recognise some of this. I get lots of physical affects that doctors shrug at, including your pains and sweating, snottiness, dizziness, unintelligible thoughts. Nerves like someone is dragging a net over me. Feeling like I'm going to fall over. I've had tests and zilch.

    What I have found out over the years though is that food is key. I mean, really the difference between mood chaos and suicidal thoughts and sleepless nights like you describe and sleeping okay, feeling stable etc.

    Maybe you already know all this, but if not take a look at sugar intake first, that's the worst for me. And by sugar I mean anything that raises your blood sugars, like starchy foods, alcohol, fruit, processed stuff.

    My Mum had the same symptoms as me but wouldn't accept her diet had anything to do with her health (and she didn't eat badly but couldn't tolerate what she did eat). She ended up on steroids for the pain for years and died miserable. Every time I eat too much of what makes me worse I feel like I'm on the same path.

    Hope you're feeling better by now, life is hard for sure.

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