Published on 12, July, 2020
i am a 17 yr old female who just recently go diagnosed and i used to mask around everyone all the time and now i have my diagnosis i feel as if subconsiously i dont have to anymore so ive been stimming more. my issue is i dont want people to think im just doing it for the sake of doing it. i used to constantly do it just in my own presents but now i feel if i open up more people will think im attention seeking. i dont know if im feeling like this because i used to get bullied and called an attention seeker due to my mental health or if people will genuinle think this please help.
I have only recently been diagnosed and I’m constantly thinking why do I now seem more autistic than I was before?! I think it’s a similar thing, like suddenly having an inner permission to be more free and realise why you do certain things. I’m really aware that the few people I’ve told will now think oh she’s just making a fuss or exaggerating things all of a sudden, whereas I now just feel okay to say things out loud (only at times) like no I can’t go there because I cannot cope with the noise or I’m struggling today because I cannot cope with the heat, but that is only around the very few people I know and trust.
do people know about your diagnosis? If it’s something you’re worried about could you maybe do something like get one of those rings that you can spin, so to anyone else it would look like a “normal” ring and you wouldn’t be feeling that everyone else is noticing but still getting the sensory need that you get from stimming? For example I’m worried about the same thing and instead of wearing big ear defenders that everyone would suddenly notice, I have the inner ear loops. It isn’t to please or satisfy other people but just to make me feel less anxious and less obvious, whilst still benefitting from their purpose.