Published on 12, July, 2020
My son, recently turned 15, has been diagnosed with autistic burnout. He excelled at primary school and although experienced some some anxiety we handled it. His first year of secondary was spent mainly at home due to the pandemic. In year 8 he started to miss days and weeks here and there with health problems which seemed to develop into anxiety. In March 2022 he stopped attending school and although he attempted to return at the start of year 9 he couldn’t do and he has been at home ever since. His world/comfort zone seems has become smaller and smaller since March 2022 and we are now at a point where he will not leave the house. He lives in the living room, rarely coming out, he doesn’t wash or brush his teeth, he spends hours playing Call of Duty. When we attempt to suggest a shower or invite him to join in with dinner he has a meltdown which might involve breaking things in the house and swearing/shouting at us. He avoids any communication with me since our last heated interaction, about three ago where I pleaded with him to get help and explained that things weren’t getting better. He still speaks to my husband fortunately but we are in crisis as a family. My younger son, aged 10, is being impacted with all this and is now on a reduced timetable due to emotionally based school avoidance/anxiety. He is also in the process of being assessed for autism.
We are terribly worried about our older son. He is such a wonderful, intelligent, interesting young man who is suffering so much. We understand that adolescence isn’t easy so hoping that once his hormones have settled hopefully things might improve but it’s heartbreaking to see him goign through this and refuse any help or support. We are also incredibly worried about the impact this is having on our younger son. Much of the advice we get seems to be in conflict, some people tell us there needs to be more boundaries around internet use for example where as others are saying the on line gaming community is his safe space and helping him through.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Or is anyone goink through something similar? How long will this last? What sort of support should we looking for beyond CAMHS who don’t seem to be very clued up on autistic burnout.
Thanks for reading,
I'm sorry you're experiencing all that. Have you read anything about PDA? The professionals don't yet agree with it as a diagnosis and many don't know about it at all, but I've done a lot of research on it for myself and I feel it's real in my bones.
I'm afraid I behaved similarly as a teenager, and my father continues to do so at 90. If you interrupt him he will still yell obscenities at you (he was violent when he was younger) and he can't take responsibility for anything. It's always someone else's fault. The only reason mine doesn't show now is I fight to keep it in check in company because of how my father acts. I don't want to behave like him.
I don't have an answer for making things better but understanding is helping me figure myself out. Maybe something in the PDA stuff will help you come up with strategies for your home.