Adults who have destructive meltdowns

I'm sure I can't be the only one but I really feel like I am.

For reference I've always had them. As a kid I was punished for them and prior to diagnosis I thought I was 'mad' and would be sectioned if I told anyone about them.  I hid in toilets thru school and work so no-one saw. It was only when I realized I was autistic that they made any kind of sense at all. 

Whilst I understand meltdowns are normal for us I can't forgive myself for them. No details but I hurt myself a good deal, never anyone else. I contain everything I can until I burst, and when I know I can't avoid it I run so no-one sees. 

Does anyone have any tips for accepting this part of being autistic? 

Thanks in advance folks