Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello and thank you for allowing me to join this community.
Last year I underwent a genetic testing through family relations, and discovered that I had a chromosome duplication called 7q11.23 Duplication Syndrome. This didn't mean much to me and I doubt it would to other people as well. But, I managed to contact a charity called Unique who provided a fact sheet on this duplication and alot of it didn't really connect with myself and it did say that everyone experiences differently. When I got to the behaviour part of the fact sheet and realised that it can create Autistic and ADHD Traits, and then the light bulb came on in my head and I realised all the problems I've had socially growing up going through education and employment was what they were describing in this fact sheet. I've always felt different, and that I don't fit in even how much I tried to adapt (or now I know mask) to be accepted it never worked. I struggled with concentration, and lost interest in things especially employment causing me to have had lots of jobs. Even my marriage broke down, and my own children do not talk to me, and my parents have found me difficult to deal with and I used to think it was all someone elses fault, but now I'm realising it was mostly due to myself misunderstanding things and then overeacting. I now have alot of embarressment over past, I overtalk people and interrupt people, and definitely do not listen like many people have told me.
To get an official diagnosis it will take years, and so GP has accepted that I'm autistic with the chromosome diagnosis, but I feel lost and alone because most of my days are spent on my own I can't socialise but also I don't want to socialise because it's too difficult. How do others manage, I would love to know and would like to get involved in some kind of support group.
NAS89485 said:How do others manage, I would love to know and would like to get involved in some kind of support group.
Therapy and self-help books were the way I coped.
I was diagnosed in my 50s and recognise many of your experiences as my own.
If you are a reader then the following books are worth a shot:
Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Wylie, Philip_ Beardon, Luke_ Heath, Sara (2014)ISBN 9781849054331
This will help you see others experiences in your situation.
Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)ISBN 0764525476
A quick and dirty way to learn a lot more about autism.
The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships - Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Temple Grandin, Sean Barron (2005)ISBN: 9781941765388
Since social situations are a major issue then learn how to behave - you probably wished there was a rule book about this when you were a kid and now there is. The interactions will not be intuitive in the same way normal peoples are, but you can spot your areas of weakness and develop ways for you to adapt (changing behaviour like this is called masking and it does come at a cost of mental energy so use sparingly) so you can fit in better if you want to.
A fair bit about coping well is deciding what you want to change and where you are going to contimue to mask and spend your mental energy in future.
Living life like a hermit may be appealing but you have alternatives, you just need to work out it these are attractive enough and worth the cost.
Welcome to the club.